Dexter
What’s Eating Dexter Morgan?

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 61 USERS: B+
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Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti

Elway and Deb have caught the husband, who is not only cheating but is really keeping it classy by doing so in the cab of a cheap commercial van. As Elway enthusiastically snaps photo after photo, he casually inquires about Quinn, giving Deb some light shit as seems to be his wont, and she's like, fine -- we're not sleeping together, but we used to date until he proposed and I dumped his ass. Elway remarks that he couldn't stay friends with a woman who turned down his proposal, and Deb's like, that's because you're a giant pussy. They chuckle, and that's… cute, I think is what they're going for?

Dexter saunters up to the "Workout City" display at the mall and regards Galuzzo, who's young and in good shape, as DVO notes that the mall is a pretty good place to grab potential victims. Galuzzo is chatting up two girls who seem interested in him, but as soon as he sees Dexter, it's like everything else is forgotten, which makes Dexter wonder if Galuzzo recognizes him. I read his look more as he's liking what you're selling, and soon he's taking a body-fat measurement, although he does at least use calipers. He notes that Dexter's in pretty good shape (although to be honest, I'm not sure when Dexter has time to work out these days), and when he gets the reading back, he announces that Dexter has a very low fat-to-muscle ratio. Dexter tells him he's looking for something to change up his workout routine, so Galuzzo gets a big smile on his face and points out a machine he claims "cuts you up faster than a chef at Benihana." Without the later revelation, that'd seem labored, but it's actually pretty clever on the show's part. Dexter hops on the machine, oh-so-casually placing a copy of one of Vogel's books and chatting about her, but Galuzzo says he's never heard of her, and his convincing delivery is nice to see in a professional psychopath. Galuzzo watches with an appraising smile as Dexter plugs away on the elliptical machine…

…and then later, Vogel is alarmed at Dexter's rash exposure of himself to Galuzzo. Dexter tells her, however, that Galuzzo is hiding something, so he's going to break into his place the next day and look for hard evidence. Actually, the evidence is going to be fairly mushy, but still useful. Vogel inquires what happens if he comes for her in the meantime, so Dexter asks if she has a way to protect herself and she admits she has a gun, although she hasn't used it for years. So what was that business with the letter opener, girlie? Dexter tells her to keep her weapon loaded before starting to head out to get Deb, but Vogel stops him to tell him something -- when she and Harry devised the code, his biggest concern was that Dexter only kill bad people, while Vogel wanted Dexter to err on the side of not getting caught. In light of that, she'd like to know why, after Deb found out about Dexter's extracurricular activities, he didn't kill her? Ooh.. Vogel had me at hellew, but this is new ground and I like it. Dexter, a bit stunned, says he loves Deb, but Vogel asks what exactly Dexter loves about her, adding that psychopaths mean something different when they talk about love from the rest of you… I mean, "us." Dexter says he loves having steaks and beer with her -- which is not something they've done in a while, since he mentions it -- and the way she used to look up to and be there for him, but Vogel gently points out that those things aren't about Deb, but his needs. Dexter asks if she's labeling him selfish, but she assures him she's not criticizing. "Selfless love is hard enough for typical people, and for psychopaths, it's… impossible." Hmm, I wonder if that's going to be indicative of Dexter's final conflict -- I could see him being faced with the possibility of sacrificing himself for Deb. Vogel gets to her ultimate point -- as she said, he's perfect as a psychopath, so all this talk about helping Deb makes him "like Michelangelo trying to play the banjo." Evocative while rhyming. This woman is the best. She suggests that she be the one to help Deb, but Dexter thinks Deb wouldn't listen to her. Vogel: "You admitted to being the cause of her pain. How can you expect to be the solution?" It's a solid question, but Dexter defensively says he can handle Deb -- he's been doing it his entire life. If he ever tried to handle cleaning up her mouth, that's not a great sign.

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Dexter

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