Dirty Sexy Money

Episode Report Card
Djb: B+ | Grade It Now!
I Won't Find It Fantastic Or Think It Absurd

Previously on The Show For People Who Liked Arrested Development But Thought It Was A Little Too Funny: Karen loves Nick, Brian loves his son, Patrick loves a lady-man, Tripp loves Darling Plaza, and Jeremy used to have a twin. But that was a long, long time ago.

New York City! Cheesecake shots of the skyline remind us that it's a fabulous city for the superrich and even the Nick George rich. The rest of you can stand in line to buy a Metrocard and follow my ass on the F train out to Brooklyn. ["WOOOOOO! F train out to Brooklyn!" -- Miss Alli]

It's morning in Manhattan, and Nick and Lisa lie in bed talking about paint. She asks him if he's ready to paint the living room, and he responds with sarcasm, "Yeah, I love painting. I love the mess, I love the smell." Lisa laughs for what will probably be the last time in their entire relationship, and then asks what color he likes better, holding up paint chips and giving him the choice between "crème brulee or flan." And as delicious as those walls sound, I can't help but think that, no matter which one Nick chooses, Lisa is going to paint the entire room in "I'm-Mad-About-Something-Karen-Darling-Did Blue." But right now it's all smiles and good vibes, as Lisa nicely sets up the episode for us: "Are you sure you're going to be able to finish this before Thanksgiving at my parents'? It's only two days." Nick responds with characteristic early episode naivety, noting that he has very little to do today other than a meeting with Tripp and some quick work on Brian's custody hearing, and that's it for the entire holiday weekend. I wonder if Nick will get sucked into the lives of the Darlings, sacrifice his and his family's plans, piss off Lisa when she makes some sudden and shocking discovery about Nick and Karen, and then have her tell him that she wants to work it out because she knows her husband really loves her. I'm just guessing, but I feel like we've seen this episode before.

Over at Tripp's office, Nick updates his boss on the status of Darling Plaza: the deed was transferred to Simon Elder two weeks ago, and Nick remains in the dark about Elder's plans for it. Tripp once more rhapsodizes on the meaning of Darling Plaza: it's where his kids were raised, it's where he truly felt at home, it's where Dylan went electric for the first time, it's the filming location for the fake moon landing, and so on. Just the kind of place one wouldn't think to bet away capriciously in a poker game. Conversation turns to Patrick, to whom Tripp tells Nick he hasn't spoken since the wedding. Tripp sits and tells Nick he has no idea what it's like to come to the end of a long and successful life only to have all of his achievements "spirited away by this capricious man." Sometimes it's nice to have a reminder of why I love this show so much, such as when there are lines like, "spirited away by this capricious man." It makes me miss writers. Remember them? Nick tells Tripp that, despite any political alliance Patrick may have with Simon Elder, he is still Tripp's son. OR IS HE? In the madcap world of Dirty Sexy Money, anyone on this show could or could not be Tripp's son at any time. Even Carmelita.

Tripp requests that Nick set up a "sit down" between Tripp, Patrick, and Simon Elder up at the Darling country house, named "Valhalla." The sooner the better he says, settling on "tomorrow evening." Nick expresses skepticism that Simon would travel sixty miles up the Hudson for a meeting the night before Thanksgiving, and Tripp responds, "You handed him the deed to Darling Plaza to gain influence with him, right? So use your influence. Cash it in." Nick agrees to set up the meeting and then stands up to leave, but before he can make a clean getaway, Tripp tells Nick that he expects him at his side for the meeting. Nick is all, "But Mr. Scrooge, the holiday is tomorrow and the missus will be expecting me!" But rather than being visited by three ghosts and then telling Nick to buy the biggest turkey in the market, Tripp promises to have Nick out of the house by "really early Thursday morning" so that he can make it to Lisa's parents' house for Thanksgiving. Nick, evidently never having seen an episode of Dirty Sexy Money, believes this promise.

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Dirty Sexy Money




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