Oh, speaking of which. Patrick gets into bed with Ellen and tries to engage her in conversation, but Ellen cuts him off: "You went to see her, didn't you?" Patrick cops to the fact that Carmelita is in a motel near the country house, and Ellen asks if he at least took a shower. He tells her that he didn't do anything icky like that, but instead that it's been a rough night and that he needed to talk to someone. He ill-advisedly adds, "I can tell her things." Ellen leaves the room in a big hurry, because there's putting your foot in your mouth and then there's telling your wife, "I really relate to my hot tranny mistress."
Downstairs, Letitia notes to Tripp that Simon left in a hurry. Tripp says the meeting was wearying and that sometimes he's almost ready to leave this life. Letitia, rather than being all, "Foreshadowing your death much?" tells Tripp that she's glad he married her. He agrees. And then, a gunshot. Tripp, Letitia, Karen, and Nick all run upstairs to find Patrick shot in the leg, and Ellen holding the hunting rifle. Guess this is what we call "the third act."
The next day, outside of a hospital, Nick talks to the press about the "simple, run-of-the-mill hunting accident" that took place up at the country house. When asked who actually pulled the trigger, Nick lays the blame on "Charlie Bickelson, a longtime Darling family friend" who is devastated by what he did. Even though he didn't do it, and is possibly fake. The press asks where Ellen Darling is, and Nick says that she is resting at the Imperial Hotel. Nick wraps up the press conference by saying he hopes that everyone can put this behind them as soon as possible.
At the valet, Jeremy climbs into his limo, Clark asking him if he's excited for Thanksgiving. Sofia spots him from across the garage, asking him, "What's all this?" But she jumps in to save the day, guessing that this is Jeremy's father. Jeremy hugs Clark for being so sweet as to come pick his son up at work the night before Thanksgiving, whispering in his ear that he is now Jeremy's father and their last name is Babison. Without missing a beat, Clark sweet-talks Sofia, telling her he doesn't want to shake her hand. "Babisons don't shake. Babisons hug." And so he does, for a long, lingering time. Who is playing who, I ask? This is like House of Games, if it had starred Sofia Vergara.
In Tripp's shiny glass office, Nick hands a white-haired man a check while Tripp thanks "Charlie" for doing this. He wishes them Happy Thanksgiving and takes his leave. Tripp asks Nick if this is going to get out, and Nick says he doesn't think it will. He tells Tripp he would never lie for the family, and now he's making up stories about hunting accidents. Tripp tries to explain things away by stating that "life is messy," so Nick changes the topic to Simon. He asks Tripp why he never mentioned that Simon's parents had worked for the Darlings, and Tripp responds that he didn't want to put Nick in a position where he would have to lie. Tripp continues that Simon got it wrong that Tripp's parents reported Simon's parents to the authorities, which gives Nick a moment of clarity: "It was my father." Poor Dutch. Anyway, Tripp thinks this gives Simon Elder just the motive he needed to kill Nick's dad. But just then, they are distracted by the sight of Darling Plaza being demolished on the news. Tripp says this is the third time he's seen it today, and that it doesn't get any easier.