Dirty Sexy Money

Episode Report Card
Djb: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I Won't Find It Fantastic Or Think It Absurd
Karen finds her mom in one of the house's many rooms, drinking wine and doing the crossword. Honestly, best life ever. Karen asks why she has to go to the country house for Thanksgiving if Brian doesn't have to, and Letitia responds that besides his own custody battle, Brian is also "presiding over two funerals this weekend. The holiday season die-off has commenced." Again I say, if there are reasons not to like this show, it's times like this I can't remember what they are. Letitia reminds Karen that she promised to help her daughter get Nick, and that she should just trust her and come to Valhalla. But Karen has some other more aggressive ideas, proposing, "What if daddy sends me and Nick to India -- no wait, Bali -- to set up an orphanage for the really starving children? And we have to live alone? In a grass hut? On the beach?" Letitia promises that a trip to the country house is all she really needs, promising that "everything will work itself out." And it will, if that Best Spin-off Ever idea is made manifest without a moment's delay.

Over in the Hollywood Set section of Brooklyn, Jeremy lets Sofia out of her car. He tells her he forgot how far away Brooklyn is, and she asks if he'll be okay getting home. She points out that the subway is just two blocks away, begging the question of why girlfriend needs to own a car if she only has to get from midtown (where it looks like her office was) to Brooklyn Heights (where it looks like her home is). It's called the 2 train, and it will get you home in twenty minutes. The drive? Maybe an hour, possibly more. He starts to ask her a question, and she cuts him off, "The answer is yes...I will go out with you. But I don't even know your last name." A bit on the nose, that bit of dialogue? Other possibilities for her line included, "But I don't even know the one thing about you that you are actively trying to conceal from me" and "But I haven't found out that you are a billionaire yet, even though I secretly know because I am playing you like Boston plays the Devil Rays, which means that I am playing but also means that I am winning." She tells him her last name, and he stumbles, "I'm cool with just Jeremy, babe" before choking out that his last name is, in fact, "Babison." Pronounced "BABE-i-son." Funny, but more cartoonish than this show has ever been. Like, I'm surprised that, in a moment of panic, he didn't say that his name was "Jeremy Brooklynson." Or "George Glass." He claims that "Babison" is a common American last name, and she thanks him for the ride. She gives him a quick kiss and runs inside her Hollywood set apartment. Jeremy quickly calls his driver and reports that he is "somewhere in Brooklyn." All right, leave Brooklyn alone. It's right next to Manhattan. Then again, depicting Brooklyn as if it's in the middle of the wilderness will at least placate viewers of this show who live in Jersey who can't believe that this scene isn't set there instead.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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