Dirty Sexy Money

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Djb: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I Won't Find It Fantastic Or Think It Absurd
Outside the manse -- say, weren't we supposed to be heading up to a country house at some point in this episode? -- Jeremy encounters Clark the driver and explains that he needs to go on a date to a place that won't make his girlfriend think he's super rich. He asks Clark where people like him go out, and when Clark asks for clarification of the statement "people like me," Jeremy spells it out: "Poor people. Where do you eat when you go out?" Clark says that he actually makes a pretty good living working for the Darlings, but Jeremy counters, "I don't know what's going on with the whole silent-movie-star moustache, but it seems pretty poverty-related." And though that line was just a set-up for the joke to come, it's still 100% funny when Clark volleys back, "You're right, Jeremy. I can't actually afford a beard." Jeremy announces that that was "a good one," because, really, it was. Still, Clark decides to help him out, telling him that sometimes he and his wife go out for pizza. Sometimes, afterward, they take a bottle of wine out on the roof, and if the mood strikes them, well, "you know poor people." Jeremy, thrilled with this information, proclaims Clark, "the fountain of middle-class romance-formation." Without missing a beat, Clark notes, "I've been called that before." And just like that, another spin-off idea is born.

Nick tells Brian to brace himself for the possibility that they might lose their case, and Brian tells Nick that he's "the worst," asking if he even went to law school. Nick, unamused, reminds Brian that he's the one who lied about the kid and everything about him since Day One, and that he's sorry he can't change reality. Brian, with characteristic candor, tells Nick, "Well then you suck," which is funny because he loves God so he's also wearing a nun's habit or whatever it's called when it's a boy. Nick says the only option left is for him to go see Andrea alone and try to reason with her, because the case is probably going to come down in her favor. Nick wishes him good luck and takes off. Say, weren't we supposed to be heading up to a country house at some point in this episode?

Nick arrives home to find Lisa packing Kiki's clothes. Is this kid on strike or in rehab, too? When did she become an invisi-child who existed in name only? Lisa tells Nick that she decided to drop Kiki off at her parents' and then come with Nick to the country house. Weren't we supposed to be heading up to a country house at...oh, we're here.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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