Dirty Sexy Money

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Djb: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I Won't Find It Fantastic Or Think It Absurd

I don't know. This place looks kind of nice to me. Jeremy and Sofia stand in the waiting area of a fancy Italian restaurant, Sofia bemoaning the fact that there is an hour and a half wait. Jeremy leaves her to walk to the maitre-d, hands her a hundred dollar bill, and whispers something in her ear. Seconds later, she walks over to them and tells them, "Babison, party of two." A quick cut later, the wait staff of the restaurant is singing Happy Birthday to Sofia, which is what she thinks he told them to get her the table. Or so he thinks. At which point the wait staff comes over and acts out Hamlet in its entirety, because that play knows that the play's the thing, and that's how much she's playing him.

Because he's secretly not actually that much of an idiot, Brian decides to take Nick's advice after all and goes to talk to Andrea. Outside, somewhere under the cover of darkness, he asks if there is some way they can work things out, but she tells him it's too late. She says she'll gladly abide by the word of the arbitrator, and Brian tells her that's because it's all going to go her way. Rather than stick her fingers in her ears and deliver a speech entirely comprised of the words, "Neener-neener-neeneer," she reminds him that, when they first met at church, he talked to her for hours about "faith and solace." He taught her to bring her problems in life to God, and she asks if he's thought about doing the same. Probably not, though, because he's such an unremitting asshole that he's probably in the shape he's in because he gets to the middle of a prayer and he's like, "And can you also help the starving children in Africa, you STUPID JERK GOD? Why do you have to make them so ORPHANY? Jesus!" And then God is like, "Whatever." Anyway, the scene ends with Brian Jr. looking out a window on the whole thing.

Back at the country house, the men finally sit and have their important man talk. Tripp notes that he's happy they are finally able to cut through "the haze of go-betweens" -- hey, Nick is right there -- and just talk like men. Tripp kicks it off: "So, what are you doing with my son?" Patrick tries to claim that this is none of Tripp's business, even though it's the exact stated reason that they are all there. Simon wants to answer, telling Tripp that he has offered himself as an adviser to Patrick during this time of transition. Tripp suggests that maybe he's actually trying to use Patrick as a pawn in some revenge game against Tripp, and everyone else in the room is like, "Guh?" But Tripp thinks he knows exactly why Simon has become involved in their lives, and it's worth hearing him state it verbatim: "It's about the chilling heartlessness of a man determined to tear asunder the longstanding family ties in the course of his vendetta." Those words are pretty! I wonder what they mean.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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