Dirty Sexy Money

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
Don’t, Tripp!

In case you didn't realize, this show is getting soapier! And more scandalous! We open with a fake tabloid newsmagazine type show called "VIP Insider," which is redundant, but that's sort of the least of my concerns with this new direction, so I'll shut up. We have a faux-grey-haired (it's either a wig or the fakest-looking real head of hair I've ever seen) faux-Anderson Cooper type -- though not nearly as good-looking or charming or smart -- talking about the Darlings managing to get even dirtier than anyone ever thought (uh, yeah, tell us about it).

Faux-Anderson gets us up to date on the scandals: Patrick's wife, Ellen, died suspiciously in a fire (except we know it's even dirtier than that), and the Darlings have retreated to the Imperial, their "palatial Manhattan home." Patrick walks in and asks those in front of the TV (Jeremy, Karen, Patrick's kids) to turn off the TV, but his kids want to watch because their friends at school said Daddy killed Mommy. Awww, kids say the darnedest things. Karen says this is why she's never having kids. Which, good for her, really. Possibly the first smart decision she's made since we've known her. Patrick explains it was an accident and that even the police say so. He also tells them he loved their mommy very much. Now, now, Patrick, you had them at "accident"; you didn't have to lie.

Faux-Anderson continues that Darling Enterprises is facing troubled times on Wall Street (this show must not be set in the current economy, or one company facing troubled times wouldn't exactly be headline news). And then he goes on to say the stock has been downgraded because of the arrest of Letitia Darling. When we pan out on the TV again, it's a screen in a lobby at Darling Enterprises, and Brian's the viewer. A redheaded secretary (excuse me ... administrative assistant) type comes out to tell Brian that the board will see him.

Back on the TV, Faux-Anderson explains that Nick won't be representing Letitia, because of some sort of conflict of interest or something. Instead, Nick's at a press conference introducing Terry Deramian, who will represent Letitia in court for Dutch's murder. His record gives Nick every confidence Letitia will be found innocent. A reporter asks him if he believes in the Darling curse now that his father is the victim, and Nick tells her the only curse is being asked questions like that. Which is awesome, except it makes me wonder what happened to the old Nick who actually wanted to solve his father's murder. Will he return, possibly?

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Dirty Sexy Money




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