Dirty Sexy Money

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DeAnn Welker: D | Grade It Now!
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Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse...

New York City nighttime shots. Simon Elder's in a business meeting (wait... at night?), but Nick shows up to see him so Simon dismisses everyone. Nick tells Simon to stay away from his wife. Simon, who is creepily calm as usual, tells Nick that his anger is from a lack of perspective. He shows Nick the disc to help give him some perspective. And then we have to watch that terrible, nauseating, maddening scene again. Nick tells Karen the company's not his first concern. That would be "you... and me." Simon threatens to put it on YouTube. Then he shows the part where Karen tells Nick to step up. Simon tells Nick that if he messes with "my lady... my stuff, I mess with yours." Ew, ew, ew. As if "my lady" weren't bad enough, he had to call her his "stuff"? I know we're supposed to hate Simon, but was that really necessary? In 2008?

Karen's trying on a wedding dress as Simon looks on (what'd you expect? Tradition?). He loves the dress, and then she takes it off so that we can get a gratuitous panties, nylons, corset shot of Karen. He wants to take her to dinner, but she's going to the family dinner, even though they all disowned her. She says she promised she'd go so Letitia will have someone to gossip with while everyone else argues about Patrick's Senate committee. Nick texts Karen while Simon talks to her. It says "We need to talk." She reads the message but pretends it didn't happen. Also, I think this is a different phone than she's had in the past, and it's still some cheap generic phone. Is this really the phone Karen Darling would have? Karen leaves the room, and Simon calls Nola to tell her about the dinner. He wants her there. Nola says Patrick's definitely going with agriculture and Tripp gave in. Simon's not buying it, and he needs Patrick's support on the agriculture committee to launch his biofuel. Nola doesn't want to spend more time with the Darlings than she has to, but Simon tells her she should remember that she does have to.

Brian tells Andrea she's in the experimental trial, but she doesn't want any kind of treatment. He can't believe how selfish she is, with her yoga and incense. She calls him an idiot. He calls her a bitch. They start kissing passionately, and we all know where that's going.

Hot Roadkill is playing the piano when Tripp walks in. He tells her not to stop playing, so she doesn't. He's glad she's up and about and tells her it's actually been "refreshing" having her in the house. Well, I guess anytime he's bored, he should go hit a hot bicyclist and bring her home, then. Hot Roadkill tells Tripp how admirable it is that he's so faithful to someone as unfaithful as Letitia. She reads the papers, after all. He says Letitia was the girl of his dreams 40 years ago, and he can't let it go. She calls him a saint, and tells him how nice it is to meet someone who can afford to make a million second chances, but still holds onto the first one. This is all really sweet and should reaffirm his love for Letitia, right? Not, you know, make him love Hot Roadkill?

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Dirty Sexy Money

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