Dirty Sexy Money

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DeAnn Welker: D | Grade It Now!
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Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse...

By the fireplace, Nick approaches Hot Roadkill and they make flirty small talk that could have been written in a third-grade classroom. Nick: "How's the boarder?" Hot Roadkill: "Far from bored." HR: "This dress ... I think it goes for 10 grand." Nick: "Nice." She also says how strange it must be to be around this all the time, and asks where his wife is. Cue Lisa's entrance. She tells him Simon showed her the disc. He says he can't do this right now, in that dismissive way Nick has with her, as if she's not the person he chose to love and honor above all others. She tells him he can, and he will. He grabs her and tries to lead her out, but she's already yelling about how he wanted to know if Karen was still pathetically waiting for him, and if they're on now. She says if "that slut, that rich disgusting stringbean made of money" is what he wants, he can have her because she's waiting for him, "wide open." Um, ew? I think. Karen tries to insult Lisa, but "I smell trouble, or is that your perfume?" really isn't an insult unless we assume that trouble smells bad. Which, yeah, it's a stretch. Lisa tells her to walk away. Karen says if she does that, Nick's just going to look at her ass. Nick says nothing, because he is a total dick. Lisa says Karen won't be happy until she sees Lisa and Nick's relationship die, and Karen says, "Well, he certainly won't." Lisa calls her a "stupid, slutty bitch" and throws a glass of champagne in her face. Nick yells at Lisa: "What the hell?!" Karen interrupts him and says she's never been in the same class as Lisa, but she's not afraid to fight above her weight. Lisa tells Karen she'll kick her ass... if she can find it. Did I miss something? Are these fat jokes? Is Lisa supposed to be fat? I must have missed that, in that SHE IS NOT. Brian says that now this is a family dinner. And, yes, I agree: my family, too. Not to this degree or anything, and not with this much money. But definitely with the dysfunction at family events. Lisa slaps Karen and it is awesome. Nick jumps in front of Karen and says it wasn't her fault. And I actually hate him. Jeremy jumps in and tells Nick to back off and listen to Lisa for once. Nick says it's not Jeremy's business, but he thinks it is, because Lisa's been cool with all of Nick's head games, but, and I must quote this, "even an art chick has got limits." Ha. Jeremy's view of the world. Nick asks Jeremy who he thinks he is to talk to him that way, and Jeremy says "your worst nightmare" sheepishly as he sort of shrinks away. Lisa tells them both to shut up. And Karen says to "just let the bitch be." Then she points at Lisa and is dragged off.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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