Sofia is looking bemusedly at the drawing Jeremy's done of her, and Jeremy can't take it, saying that he doesn't want his insides to die any more than they already have. Aw. He tells her he's not actually a painter, but a "rich, lazy ass," and confesses his true identity and family net worth, which, if you're interested is $35 billion. Sofia asks if she's supposed to believe this. Believe it, spend it, revel in it, honey. You'll be the envy of even Mega Millions winners. Jeremy says that he's suffered too much at the hands of "love pirates" (hee), and he wanted to make sure she liked him for him, and he thinks now she can love him for what he is. If you're going to try to navigate the twists and turns of Jeremy's thought process on this issue, I'd suggest waiting until your stomach is empty. Anyway, Sofia is thoroughly unimpressed with all this, dumps Jeremy hard, and leaves. You wonder if she'll be kicking herself when she gets her head out of her ass long enough to learn that the Darlings really do exist.

Returning to people dazzled by the Darlings, Kai and Juliet get off the elevator, and Kai is basically like, "Fuck my uncle -- I'm in for a piece!" Juliet's thrilled that he's going to stay, and immediately wants to take him shopping. He laughs that he didn't come there for her to take care of him "like some kind of poodle." Of course not, dude. That's what the staff is for. He seems sweet, but he's not nearly as cute as I thought on first look. For being French, he's an awfully strong candidate for The Big Book Of British Smiles. Juliet then tells him she'd like to give him a gift -- she wants him to be her first. Kai: "Juliet? You're amazing." Smart of him to say that now, because it'll be a lot harder to sell after the clumsiness of Her First Time, I'm guessing.