Dirty Sexy Money

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 638 USERS: B-
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Joint Therapy

Brian's in his empty church when he hears Tripp's voice ring out behind him. Tripp starts to offer an olive branch, but Brian angrily says that if Tripp's come to tell Brian he's still Tripp's son, that's a lie, and if he's going to say he still loves him, that was never the case to begin with. Tripp, a little emotionally, counters that for most of Brian's life, he tried to find himself in Brian, and now he knows why he couldn't. But he loved Dutch, and he's looking forward to having this different relationship with Brian. I think Tripp means well, but it's still kind of hard not to translate that as "I'm really psyched to know that your completely fucked-up worldview has absolutely nothing to do with my DNA. Let's be pals!" Brian neutrally thanks him, but walks off, saying he's got a meeting...

...with his bishop, who's telling him that he's watched proudly as Brian found his own "special" way. "Unique. You always did things differently, Brian." Yes, I suppose wiping your ass with the Ten Commandments would qualify as "different" for a priest. The bishop means this as a compliment, but my point is really the salient one, as the bishop tells him his independent spirit is also his downfall, because while it pains the bishop, the affair with Andrea, the child out of wedlock, and the bribing of the arbitrator mean that the State Board has decided to suspend Brian for six months. It's the church's version of a "three strikes" rule. Brian will also be expected to undergo counseling for sexual addiction and attend a series of workshops. Brian tries to be flippant, but the bishop tells him he has questions to answer -- questions about whether he still feels called to serve the Lord. Of course, he could probably serve the Lord in Brazil, but that's not a solution any viewer wants to see, I'd imagine.

So Elder wants to make sure that he and Nick are "still cool." Half right. Nick, to his credit, doesn't mince words, saying he has concerns that Elder has malicious intentions toward the Darlings. Elder, as convincingly as ever, which is to say not at all convincingly, says that the only problem with the Darlings is that they're in the way of his vision of New York. Oh, that's a relief for the Darlings. No one ever got hurt getting between a radical and his vision. He "assures" Nick that it's nothing personal, and Nick clearly doesn't buy it but tells Elder to go on, so Elder asks Nick to get him copies of Darling Enterprises' profit and loss statements for the last five years, and a list of all their holdings. I...find it difficult to believe that it's a private company, based on the sheer magnitude of its assets, and if it's not, all this should necessarily be a matter of public record, no? Regardless, Nick says that the only people who have that information are family members, which makes me giggle at the thought of Juliet or Jeremy trying to make the slightest bit of sense of it, and adds that the errand would be a "sizable betrayal." Elder: "Don't think of it as a betrayal. It's synthesis." Nick literally is like, "..." to that, which I completely love him for, because what can you say to that incredible bullshit?

Dirty Sexy Money

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