Dirty Sexy Money

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DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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Five Weeks Later...

Andrea comes in wearing the most horrible outfit in TV history. It's a brown and black flowered shirt, with a black layered skirt. By layered, I mean that it's like, separate layers of ruffles. With a leather belt dividing the two completely clashing elements (top and skirt). And then the worst part is this rose on a black chocker that she has around her neck. It's horrifying. So, Brian asks if she's planning to wear that and she gets all upset. And, seriously, show, why? Why would she get upset? She's clearly just wearing this as a practical joke, right? I mean, we've never seen her look this ridiculous. But, no, apparently it's not a practical joke, and she's really upset. She calls him snotty and childish. She asks him to say that he doesn't want to be married to her. Actually, she doesn't ask. She forces him to say it. She tells him marrying her was a beautiful gesture, but the way they're living isn't beautiful. Um, didn't you just get out of the hospital? How do you even know how you two will live together? Anyway, she finally gets him to say, "OkayfineIwantout." But only because she's the pushiest person ever.

The bishop is welcoming back Brian in a packed house. Patrick's asleep. Karen's bored. Jeremy has amnesia. And even Brian's mad, calling himself a "bank" when the bishop is praising him. In the lobby, Tripp's with a lifesized Mary statue that was donated in Carmelita's memory. He's touching the statue's folded hands, and for some reason I find the whole thing entirely creepy. Because who needs a lifesize statue of Mary? Patrick comes up and asks Tripp what he's doing there. Tripp says Patrick's not the only one who misses her. He says the memorial service haunts him. But don't worry: Tripp's just manipulating, because he gets Patrick to say Carmelita was the love of his life so that he can respond that Patrick refuses to lift a finger to see justice done. Tripp says Patrick is either a saint or stubborn. Uh, what? Those are the two options? Tripp is seriously insane. Tripp tells Patrick he missed his chance to grow as a person. Patrick says anger doesn't make him a better person, and Tripp says, "There is a place in this world... there is a place in the human heart... for vengeance." Wow. How very poetic. Then Tripp kisses Patrick's cheek to further manipulate.

Nick's at the organ when Brian walks up. Nick says it's a $1.6 million organ, huh? Brian says it is and Nick says it doesn't look like it's worth more than $1.1 million, tops. Ah, organ value humor. The hallmark of all great TV comedy. Brian says he hopes Tripp's proud, but Nick says Tripp didn't give this money to the church, because Nick would know about it. Brian asks Nick to explain this then, and we see an inscription on the organ of "Mark 1:11," which Brian tells Nick says, "And there came a voice from heaven, saying thou are my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased." So, if Tripp didn't do it, who did? They both look confused, and I scream, "Letitia!" But instead Brian says he's thinking their father donated the money. Nick says he's dead, and Brian says the building they're in is dedicated to some guy who everyone thought was dead, but wasn't so it wouldn't be the first time. So, wait, was Dutch resurrected?

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Dirty Sexy Money

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