Dirty Sexy Money

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DeAnn Welker: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Stupid Is as Karen Does

When Nick leaves the room, he meets Letitia in the hall. She asks him if he could get her excused from house arrest to go to Patrick's campaign party. He reminds her how that didn't go off so well at Ellen's memorial, and that she should probably start acting like she's actually under arrest. Jeremy overhears all of this, and asks if he can do anything to help. Well, since you're sleeping with the D.A., I'm thinking yes.

Simon's in some important business meeting talking about his fuel, blah, blah, blah boredom cakes. Karen walks in and he humiliates her by breaking up with her in front of the entire meeting. The reason? She hasn't responded to his marriage proposal, and it's been a week (a whole week? Gasp!). And, even with no consideration for things that happen later in this episode, this moment right here is enough for a woman to never want to be with, or even look at, a man again. But Karen is an idiot, so you can just guess how that plays out. He sends her away, and goes back to his meeting with a smile, like it didn't matter to him at all.

Jeremy and Nola are getting it on in a fancy, fancy shower. He asks for a favor -- even though she points out she just gave him one; dirty! -- which is to get his mom a "hall pass" to go to Patrick's campaign party. He would totally do the same for her. And he proves this by returning her previous "favor." She says it would be weird for her to ask the judge for this, but he says it would be weirder for him to go to the judge and tell her what just happened. And she loves all of this, because? I don't know. Threats make her horny? She's as stupid as Karen? Anyway, sex and threats seem to work on Nola. This will likely be good information for Jeremy to have.

Patrick and Carmelita are watching news coverage about the polls (Danielle Root's still slightly leading), and about how rocky Patrick's campaign trail has been. Carmelita likes the way he looks on TV. He thinks he looks fat. He tells her how he was a wreck without her and is so happy now that she's back, and that this biggest moment is theirs, not his. Which means exactly what you think because the next scene has Tripp delivering the most stunted line in the history of Donald Sutherland: "Go. Ing. Public. With. Car. Muh. Lee. Ta? Are. You. Out. Of. Your. Mind?" Was that for effect? Because the effect it had on me was: "Wow. Donald Sutherland forgot how to act." Patrick's done keeping her hidden. He's going public with the relationship election night, win or lose. Tripp thinks it's the worst time to do this, and Nick backs him up, saying this revelation would impair Patrick's ability to govern if he wins. Tripp makes it all about him again, saying it would also steal the thunder of the moment that the two of them (Tripp and Patrick) have been dreaming about for years. Yeah, Tripp, I think mostly you have been dreaming about it and Patrick's been placating you. Patrick says he won't be bullied out of this, because he's not like Tripp; he lives for his heart, not his head. Right then, Ellen's brother, Chase, storms in. Tripp tells him they missed him at the funeral, and asks Chase if he's still hunting quail. Then Chase tells Patrick that he knows Patrick killed Ellen. Patrick starts to tell the truth, "Ellen was the one who..." but Nick tells him to stop, and Chase interrupts him with more accusations -- how Patrick took Ellen away from Chase and their mom, etc. Chase promises to find out what happened and make Patrick pay. Ooh! Exciting! Especially if it doesn't get wrapped up cleanly before the end of the episode.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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