This show just gets crazier and crazier. This week, Andrea finds an unused condom in Brian's bag, and kicks him out. He goes to live with Nick, and it's like the strangest and most fun pairing ever, of course. And also a little poignant when Nick turns the tables and asks Brian for advice about the situation with Karen. See, he's found out she's pregnant with Simon's baby. She wants to be with him anyway, but he's not so sure. Brian quotes the Bible -- "Love endures all things" -- and Nick's convinced. He tells Karen he'll talk to Simon for her, since Simon has threatened to always be part of the child's life. But, you know, not in a loving father way; it was much more menacing.We also find out that Simon didn't want Jeremy to kill him, but just to help him fake his death. Nola's not having any of that, so she volunteers to take on Jeremy's role in the whole thing. It almost works out, until Simon finds out Karen's pregnant and tries to back out of it. Nola stabs him in the end, just as Nick walks in.
In the only other storyline of the episode, Patrick meets Senator Watley (who they're now calling Congressman instead, for some inexplicable reason) for dinner and Watley brings his wife, Krista Allen, playing to type. She tries to seduce Patrick and invites him to her hotel room. Patrick finally tells Watley what's up, and it turns out he knows. Since he's not interested in his wife sexually, he likes to hook her up with guys he wants to be with who aren't gay. He tells Patrick to keep the date with her since he won't be there tonight. Patrick shows up and they start to hook up, and we see a videocamera in the ceiling. We get the videocamera view of William Baldwin, which I can't help seeing as an homage to Sliver. Maybe Tom Berenger's the one on the other side of the camera. I guess we'll find out all next week. Or never.
Here we are at the penultimate episode. Once again, no previouslies. But you've got the recaps. Not that this show even strives for any sort of continuity of storylines or characters at this point, but still. They're there if you want them. We open on Karen with a pregnancy test, begging not to be pregnant. Because, apparently, the doctor telling her she was last week was not as reliable as a store-bought test. Nick barges in, and Karen's extremely awkward with him. He asks her to go to the Berkshires this weekend, but she puts it off until at least next month, saying she's just taking things slow. He's puzzled, but agrees. Though he's not happy about it.
Jeremy and Nola are in their usual position in a bubble bath talking about Simon. Nola tells us that Simon chose Jeremy to fake his death, not kill him. Thanks for that update, Nola. She thinks it's a trap, because Jeremy's no Jason Bourne. He pooh-poohs her, saying he's whoever he needs to be to save the woman he loves. Excuse me while I throw up.
Okay, I'm back, and thankfully we've moved on to Simon and Karen. He's showed up at the house to see Tripp to talk about unrolling the biofuel tomorrow. Karen's bitter, and Simon's shocked about that since he says it all worked out great for both of them: He has half the company, and she has Nick. She isn't letting him off the hook and says he ruined her life, and she'll never forget it. He asks if he was really that important to her considering her four previous marriages. She doesn't answer, so he wonders if something else is going on here. Letitia walks in to answer him by telling Karen it's time for their appointment. She looks at Simon with disgust and shock, and she and Karen hop in the elevator and leave.
Andrea walks in as Brian's preparing a sermon. He tells her it's the "Love is patient; love is kind" sermon, but she isn't moved by it. Instead she's pissed, because she found an unused condom in his bag from his trip to D.C. so she's not buying the whole "state dinner" thing. She kicks Brian out. When he protests she can't kick him out of his house, she says she's already cleared it with his mother. She asks Maria to please pack "Mr. Darling's condoms. He's moving out."
In a waiting room somewhere in New York, Letitia tries to make Karen feel better by telling her she'll have Maria make her a nice dinner when she's feeling up to it. Karen says she's only going to want a martini, and a time machine to go back and never meet Simon. Letitia tells her she's doing the right thing, and then a nurse calls Karen in to see the doctor. Karen, in a short, tight, smoking-hot dress, gets up and goes to see the doctor.
Simon, Tripp, and Nick are having an extremely boring meeting about some sort of press conference at the port authority the next day at which Nick's expecting a large turnout of important people. Nick says the only thing holding up the rollout is Simon's signature on the final transfer of the biofuel patent to Darling Enterprises. Tripp looks worried. Simon's all, "Yeah, right, that was an oversight." He'd be glad to sign it over, duh. Nick says he'll have the papers together later today. Simon says he's glad he's Tripp's partner and leaves. Tripp tells Nick that Simon seems awfully accommodating for someone about to part company with so much money. He wants Nick to find out why that is. Nick: "Done."
Congressman Watley (who was Senator Watley just last week; not sure what happened) shows up unexpectedly at Patrick's office. He says he has the wife and kids in town for a few days to shop and kick-start the economy. Watley apologizes for the misunderstanding, and hopes Patrick will take the advance as a compliment. Watley would like to have dinner, though, but only to discuss Darling's new biofuel thing. He holds Patrick's hand a little too tightly, and Patrick acts freaked out by it. But he says he'll have his people get in touch with Watley's people.
Letitia and Karen are leaving a building labeled "Medical Building" in the pouring rain, and Karen says she couldn't go through with it and hopes Letitia won't make a drama out of it. Letitia, hilariously, says "Well, certainly not, dear. When have you ever known me to make a drama?" Karen ignores that comment. Karen hates that Simon will always be part of her life now, but Letitia tells her it will be fine. The camera pulls back to show us Simon watching them from inside a car across the street as Letitia comments on the rain and Karen says, "Not a good day for an abortion." You know, in case you didn't pick up on all of the extremely subtle clues that she was getting an abortion, they thought they'd bang you over the head with it. Also, how did Simon find them? Considering he went into the meeting with Tripp after seeing them, he obviously couldn't have followed. Whatever. I guess I don't need it to make sense. And... opening credits. Finally.
Nick's getting ready to do something with file folders and coffee. He looks frantic and frazzled when someone knocks. It's Brian, who's moving in. Nick tries to protest, but Brian knows there's room now that Nick's down a wife, "you lucky bastard." Heh. Brian explains what went down with Andrea. Nick's like, "But you didn't even sleep with Mei-Ling." He thinks Brian should just explain things. Brian notes the "irony": He went down there to have safe sex with his ex, and he doesn't have any, and still gets busted. Well, when you put it that way ... you still went out of town to cheat on your wife. I'm pretty sure most women wouldn't forgive that, even if you chickened out. As Brian rants, he starts unpacking his stuff in Nick's room, going so far as to replace Nick's photos on the nightstand with his own. He asks Nick if there's another bedroom, and when Nick says Kiki's, Brian's like, "Good. You stay there." Nick suggests Brian sleep in a hotel, but Brian says he can't check in someplace because it will be all over Page 6. And he's a Darling and a man of the cloth. He ends with, "Come on. Help a half-brother out." So Nick hesitantly agrees.
Patrick complains to his dad that Watley wants a date, and Tripp says he's going to have to go through with it for the family. There are no other options.