Do you remember when this show was actually good? Yeah, well, the writers don't either, apparently, because they are intent on destroying every last thing that's good about it, by soaping it up until there are so many suds, you won't be able to make out anything else. Except Brian, of course. He is perfection. Everyone else? Not so much. It feels like they put the team in charge of One Tree Hill to work coming up with story ideas.
Nick quickly finds out that Jeremy is Lisa's silent partner in the art gallery, decides he needs a break from their marriage, and runs straight to Karen, all tears in his eyes and telling her she can't be with Simon because of Karen and Nick and their very unlikely and unstable possible future together. Which is stupid and disappointing. Karen is even more disappointing, though, because she's going ahead with the wedding to Simon, even though we all know he's playing her. Luckily, Nick is smart enough to get Tripp to take away all of Karen's interest in the company and her inheritance (before he realizes the depth of his love for her) so Simon can't touch it and take over the company.
Meanwhile, in the land of legal matters and elicit affairs, we get to see Shepherd Book one last time before Nola's affair with Jeremy is revealed and she's fired. Don't worry, though. I think she'll bounce back. Patrick (aka Sen. Darling) has very little to do now other than hire her as his chief of staff, after all. So he does that. Because he will do absolutely anything to piss off his father. Ultimately, we find out the mystery person Simon's been talking to about the Darlings is Nola. They're working together, and he's mad at all of her failures. He is talking mostly about the case, it seems. It's not clear whether he wanted her in a relationship with Jeremy or whether that just happened. But it is clear that Letitia wanted Jeremy in a relationship with Nola to save her case, but it seems they left Nick in the dark and just gave him clues to figure it out for himself (what with Letitia telling him about Jeremy's friend at the D.A.'s office and then Jeremy giving Nick his phone). I just love how Letitia and Tripp are perfectly okay whoring out their children to save themselves and their money. Such high moral standards this family has.
Then there's Brian, who is far removed from most of what's going on with the other Darlings. So far removed, in fact, that his story is actually human. He's dealing with Brian Jr. and Andrea's impending departure until Brian Jr. gets the flu. When they all have their blood tested for a possible Brazilian parasite, we find out Andrea has cancer. And Brian wants her to stay so that he can take care of her, which is Brian's version of "I love you." Apparently, Brian forgot about his other wife and kids. I mean, I know Juliet's gone too, but at least she got a mention again this episode (she's in the South Pacific for a year, for those keeping track).
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
No previouslies this week for some reason, despite the fact that there are eleventy billion ongoing storylines. Establishing New York City skyline shots to convince us these L.A. sets are actually the Big Apple. We start out on Jeremy and Nola, who's telling him they need to be more careful after last week's phone call from Nick, because she could lose a lot more than the case, including her job. He tells her no one will find out. Hmmm. Could this promise he's making be foreshadowing anything? Oh, and they're taking a bath together in a very cool tall, square bathtub. Sort of like this one, but taller. I want one.
Lisa's showing Nick the George-Darling Art Gallery of Lies. He's so proud of her (because he doesn't know about the lies yet, of course), and promises to be at her "first opening night." He even says that after the last time he was late, he realizes how important it is that he's on time in the future. She says not to worry; Jeremy Darling is no longer in her life. And I think she didn't need to go that far and make this lie she's in multiple lies. Right as Nick leaves, Jeremy walks in through the back door, saying what a close call that was. She thinks this secret partner thing might be a bad idea. He tells her to shut up, because everything's working out just fine for her.
Nola and Nick are in chambers with their judge. Nola says Nick's been tampering with her witness, who is also his mother. He says he's allowed to visit a witness, especially if it's his mother, and says Nola's a little off her game; could something else be distracting her maybe? She tries to get the judge to accept her earlier statement since Clare and Letitia had many phone calls. The judge says the statement will be accepted. In the hall, Nick calls out Nola on her affair with Jeremy, but she tells him to tell it to the judge -- unless, of course he has no proof. Which he doesn't. So she walks off, satisfied for now (emphasis on "for now").
Tripp is still in bed after his heart attack, and Patrick's visiting. Tripp wants to give Patrick some advice on whom to choose as his chief of staff. Patrick says he's still sort of busy hunting down Carmelita, since Tripp drove her away. Tripp says he didn't drive her away, just told her the truth. He points out, quite truthfully, that Patrick would have told her about Ellen's death eventually, and she would have left then. Tripp then recommends four old, loyal guys for Patrick's chief of staff. He puts up a bit of a fight, but ultimately agrees to meet with them.
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