Dirty Sexy Money

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DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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The Players Get Played

Jeremy pulls up in front of the Darling mansion on a motorcycle, where's he's greeted by Nick. Nick threatens him for not staying away from Lisa, and then uses Jeremy's fear as a way to get Jeremy to admit he's been having an affair with Nola. Jeremy acts like he doesn't know who Nola is, but Nick starts screaming that he's going to kick Jeremy's ass if he won't own up to this, and that Letitia could go to jail for the rest of her life if he doesn't come forward. Would threatening to kick someone's ass be considered witness tampering, I wonder? Jeremy admits he's having a thing with Nola. Nick tells him he's going to have to swear to it in court, and Jeremy says he will.

Back in the judge's chambers, Nick is presenting the judge with an affidavit from Jeremy testifying to his kinky relationship with Nola. Nola tries to speak, but the judge silences her. The judge says the affidavit reads like something out of Penthouse Forum -- and then corrects herself that she doesn't know this personally, but imagines this is how it would read. The judge asks Nola if this is true, and Nola ends up admitting it. The judge is forced to drop the case. Nola's indignant about justice and how easy it is for Letitia to get away with murder, etc. The judge points out the self-righteousness should stop, since Nola's the one who's been having an affair. Nick leaves, but the judge tells Nola the two of them aren't done.

Jeremy, with a present under his arm, spots Brian and asks him why he's not bringing a gift. Brian delivers the clunker, "My presence is my presents." Jeremy says he's giving them his and her defibrillator paddles for the honeymoon, and that if Brian has to ask he doesn't want to know. Okay, but I don't know and I am curious. Tripp walks into the room just then and asks the boys to play bridge. Jeremy says he would so dig that and is getting all stuttery in his lying. Brian forgets who his partner in lying is and says that Levine's conducting Tannhauser at the Met tonight. Jeremy's all, "Right. And we promised we'd meet both of them after for nachos." That might be a little difficult, since one of them is an opera. Tripp asks what's in the gift box, and Jeremy improvises that it's a puppy. Then he scurries out, saying he has to get the little guy out of that box. Brian follows him out, muttering under his breath, "We are so friggin' dead." You totally, totally are. I sort of can't wait. Tripp sets his jaw and turns to go play solitaire. Letitia walks in later and asks what's bothering him. He asks if she spoke with the boys about attending Karen's party. Letitia says they didn't speak, but she would have encouraged them to attend and would attend herself if it weren't for house arrest. She tells Tripp that Karen's not a little girl and he needs to let her -- and the rest of them -- go.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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