The pre-ceremony cocktail hour is in full swing, and Patrick comes in, loaded for bear. Or whatever the wuss version of that expression is. Tripp, who's at least half in the bag (bottle?) is genial and slurry, but when Patrick accuses him of telling Ellen about Carmelita, the smile fades, and he tells Patrick he's offended he'd even think such a thing. Donald Sutherland pitch-perfectly overdoes the "Well, I never!" attitude to just the right drunken degree, and all I can say is that if I were an editor, I would throw elbows to get my hands on the dailies of his stuff. Patrick reminds us that Tripp hired a photographer to tail him and Carmelita, but Tripp dismisses that, and tells him that whatever's been happening between them, he loves Patrick. Tripp gets Patrick to, reluctantly, do a shot with him. If it comes to it, I think Karen's going to have to walk Tripp down the aisle and not the other way around.

Oh, God, we really have to have another Kiki scene? I mean, Brian Jr. hasn't even had a line yet. Short version (heh): Tripp tells Kiki she can have her wedding at the Imperial, as she's family, and Letitia thanks Nick for taking care of things. Nick asks about the photographers, and Tripp drunky-drunks that the "vultures of the tabloids" are currently in his office...

...but there are only three of them, and one leaves in disgust when Nick starts the bidding at one million. Apparently, the bloom is off Karen's tabloid rose, especially since she's marrying a "second-rate golfer"; one of the two guys remaining bids $250,000, but only if he can get some "S-K-I-N." Kiki tells him she can spell. So can my friend's Corgi, Kiki, and he's cuter than you are. The other guy says he'll be in for $350,000 if he can tag along to the honeymoon and get some "opless-tay action-ay." Kiki sniffs that she speaks Pig Latin, too. So instead of Rebecca Colfax, Family Publicist (and seriously, how is she not here?), we get more crappy, overly precocious child acting. Hate. Anyway, the final price is three hundred grand with "some honeymoon" thrown in...

...and then Karen's waiting with Tripp in an unpopulated hallway. They note that they're there, again, and he tells her that his current feelings can be summed up by a Japanese word, which I won't try to spell but will tell you that he translates it as "reverence...for the transient beauty and...mortality of all things." I think the rapidly-draining bottle of tequila is inspiring that feeling in more ways than one. Karen giggles that he's "so wasted," and he adorably agrees; he then slurs through some advice he's apparently given her before, and tells her he thinks this time, it's going to last. I bet he's told her that one before as well. She kisses him and thanks him, and then the music starts up...