As it turns out, Karen is very, very, very opposed to the idea of getting married. To Freddy, that is. If she could get married to Nick, she most definitely would. And as dysfunctional as their relationship would be, at least it wouldn't be "golf-themed." This week, Karen's wedding jitters lead her to tell her mother she's getting cold feet, which leads Letitia to tell Nick to tell Karen that she'd better make it down the aisle. And make it down the aisle she does, all the way to find Nick and tell him that she wants a divorce. An hour later, the wedding is annulled, and Freddy walks off with his $3 million divorce settlement. And they said it wasn't going to last. Aaaaaaaaand...it didn't, because Freddy makes the huge mistake of telling Karen he loves her. In the end, Karen confesses her love of Nick to Nick himself, kissing him and telling him they belong together. Later, Karen tells her mother she has to try to get Nick so that she doesn't live the rest of her life wondering what could have been. Letitia, always willing to help foster an inappropriate relationship between a Darling and a George, offers to help. In other news, Patrick is having some troubles of his own. His unholy alliance with Simon Elder finds him turning against his father. Simon Elder has gained Patrick's trust, and when Patrick's wife suddenly starts knowing things about his extramarital affair, Patrick would never guess Simon is behind it. But he is. Brian thinks all is finally well with his son, until the boy's mother suddenly pops back into their lives and whisks Brian Jr. away. But only after Brian totally bangs her. And then the twins do something having to do with Natalie Kimpton writing a song for Julie, but otherwise they don't much in this episode other than standing around taking pictures of Karen's wedding with their camera phones.
I know I've complained about the overabundance of New York shots, but the ones with which they start this episode off are spectacular -- a series of dawn shots in which the city looks its most beautiful. Which is fitting, because YOU GUYS IT'S THE WEDDING EPISODE OH MY GOD. Anyhow, the bride- and groom-to-be-or-not-to-be are canoodling in bed. Freddy wonders if doing each other on the big day is bad luck, or something, and Karen replies that since she just banged one of her exes and is in love with another one, little things like superstition aren't really likely to matter. Or something. I'm just glad that if they're going to make me say goodbye to Freddy, they're giving me some beefcake shots as parting gifts. As they smooch some more, Karen wonders what that tradition is all about, anyway. In a brilliant little bit of camerawork, the angle switches to behind their heads, so when they pull apart, we see Brian's been sitting at the foot of the bed the whole time. Hee.
Brian tells them that the tradition is about symbolically seeing your beloved anew, and then wonders if they've given any thought to their vows at all. Freddy suggests a golf theme to their attestations (I love him, but trust me, you don't want to know), which Karen puts paid to with a typical head-shake; she says all they need is the simple "have and hold" stuff, plus "a little open bar." Given that it's her fourth wedding, you'd think she'd want to avoid the appearance of boilerplating, but that will be irrelevant soon enough, I suppose. Brian: "As your brother, I agree -- no one cares what you say." Hee. This show was only off for a week, right? I can't believe how much I missed it. He goes on that as Karen's minister, however, he's obliged to honor their "[appropriately skeptical tone] eternal union." Karen, seemingly thrown by Brian's phrasing, licenses him to write what he wants, as long as it's short, and he tells them he'll see them in seven hours. Karen looks like she's going to be physically ill, which makes Freddy's fratty declaration that they're "in it to win it" all the more ill-timed.
Patrick is giving an open-air press conference and gets a question about how earlier that day, his office indicted "one of the city's biggest real-estate developers, the Fantini brothers," on multiple counts of fraud and other misconduct. Patrick gives some answer about being tough on something or other, prompting another reporter to ask if he isn't worried that taking on "Michael and Sal" Fantini will bring him into conflict with Tripp. Another canned answer leads us to...
...Letitia, who's poring over the seating chart and sighing to a just-appearing Karen that "the ambassador" decided to bring a date at the last minute. I just hate the way those guys abuse their diplomatic immunity. Karen unceremoniously tells Letitia she's having second thoughts; after denying they have anything to do with Nick, she informs Letitia in regard to Freddy, "He's not exactly, um...complicated?" While I'm sure there were innumerable layers to his caddy. Letitia sighs that Karen is just like Tripp in that she's a hopeless romantic, which...wasn't she just a few episodes ago accusing Tripp of being cold and unfeeling? Something like "God forbid Tripp Darling feel anything," maybe? Anyway, Letitia goes on about real romanticism being the ability to wake up every day and tell your partner "I choose you," which continues to be more than a little odd coming from her, as Karen is both quick and succinct in pointing out. Letitia somewhat breezily says that having two lovers was her mistake, and really, this scene for me is kind of off from soup to nuts, but maybe I'm overthinking it. Then again, I haven't been known to be exactly complicated either.