Dirty Sexy Money

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Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
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Bye Bye Birdie

At the Imperial, Nick finds Karen, who's also in on the game, although with what looks like Scotch. I just hope everyone doesn't start mixing to help each other out here. Anyway, for someone who's supposed to be dissuading her romantic feelings toward him, Nick starts off by regarding Karen rather fondly, so you can imagine this isn't going to go all that smoothly. Karen asks if Nick thinks she's making a mistake, and when he tells her waiting around for him is going to be fruitless, she points out that's not what she asked, and that her whole life doesn't revolve around "a stupid crush" she had when she was eighteen. I don't really believe her, but she at least sold this denial about three billion times better than Patrick did his, and Nick seems to buy it. Karen asks what Nick thinks about her and Freddy, and he can't come up with an appropriate answer, so she pats him on the leg and starts to walk away. She turns back, though, to tell him not to pre-sell her wedding photos for less than $2 million. "That would suck." Particularly for the orphans!

The pre-ceremony cocktail hour is in full swing, and Patrick comes in, loaded for bear. Or whatever the wuss version of that expression is. Tripp, who's at least half in the bag (bottle?) is genial and slurry, but when Patrick accuses him of telling Ellen about Carmelita, the smile fades, and he tells Patrick he's offended he'd even think such a thing. Donald Sutherland pitch-perfectly overdoes the "Well, I never!" attitude to just the right drunken degree, and all I can say is that if I were an editor, I would throw elbows to get my hands on the dailies of his stuff. Patrick reminds us that Tripp hired a photographer to tail him and Carmelita, but Tripp dismisses that, and tells him that whatever's been happening between them, he loves Patrick. Tripp gets Patrick to, reluctantly, do a shot with him. If it comes to it, I think Karen's going to have to walk Tripp down the aisle and not the other way around.

Oh, God, we really have to have another Kiki scene? I mean, Brian Jr. hasn't even had a line yet. Short version (heh): Tripp tells Kiki she can have her wedding at the Imperial, as she's family, and Letitia thanks Nick for taking care of things. Nick asks about the photographers, and Tripp drunky-drunks that the "vultures of the tabloids" are currently in his office...

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Dirty Sexy Money

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