Dirty Sexy Money

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Bye Bye Birdie

Nick has presented Freddy with annulment papers. He stares at Karen, his face a mix of disbelief and loathing, and bitterly asks if he still gets the check, and Nick acknowledges that -- three million bucks, as outlined in the prenup. Heh, he probably didn't think that thing would end up benefiting him. Freddy signs the papers and tosses his wedding ring on the table, and then snarks that Nick must be ecstatic. Karen starts to say something, but he tells her not to feel sorry for him, because he feels sorry for her. "You are a screwed-up little girl who has a thing for her lawyer. And no matter how hard you try and fight it, you are gonna die alone and unhappy, and that's exactly what you deserve." It's maybe a bit much coming from someone who just admitted that he proposed to her for her money, but it's still hard to say it's unearned. And without even one golf reference! When Freddy's gone, Karen cries in earnest, blows off Nick's attempt to comfort her, and then leaves the room. Nick looks perturbed, as well he might. I mean, how he's going to spin this to Lisa alone, right?

Patrick is over at Elder's office, and after some bullshit about chai tea, he tells Elder about Carmelita and Ellen and the whole mess. Elder counsels him to stop apologizing for who he is, and says that it's the twenty-first century, and the public will understand, and so will Ellen. Well, if Patrick's judgment is so impaired that he's willing to buy this crap, Elder's probably doing us all a favor. But really, how can Patrick be this swayed by this guy? I mean, if you're going to have a Svengali, shouldn't he be, you know, interesting? Compelling? When Patrick's gone, Elder's assistant, the poker dealer who looks like Lobot from The Empire Strikes Back, comes in, and the two of them talk in Russian about how Ellen has no idea that the information about Carmelita came from them. What's the Russian for "yawn"?

The help is breaking down the wedding as Nick finds Karen and tells her he was able to sell the pictures for $1.3 million. I guess "first-time annulee" pays better than "fourth-time bride." Karen tells Nick that when she thought Freddy was just after her money, that made things easier and more predictable, and there's some more preliminary stuff, but the real moment comes to pass as Karen tells Nick that she is, in fact, in love with him. She kisses him, which he breaks in what I would say is just under the wire as far as being an acceptably short length of time. He's such a lawyer. She looks into his eyes intensely as she says they belong together, and they fit. She almost succeeds in hypnotizing him, but he breaks free at the last second and almost literally runs away. Hearkening back to Brian's sermon, there is no joy in Karenville tonight.

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Dirty Sexy Money

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