MONDO EXTRAS

...and then Juliet is asking the director why he cast her in this play if she's so terrible. The director, who's apparently Scottish, animatedly tells her her dad is financing the whole production. Juliet is aghast, so the director bites out, "You don't think you can act, do ya? I mean, haven't you seen the looks on everyone's mugs when you squeak and squawk your way through yer lines, you dodgy wee twig!" Nick watches impassively as Juliet whines that Tripp said he wasn't going to do that any more. She stomps off, shrieking "I thought I earned this part!" Insert your own Tori Spelling joke here. Nick tries to talk to the director, who's having none of it, and then the stage manager or whoever comes over and gravely intones, "She's not...she's not good." Hee. Another ringtone...

...leads us to Chelsea Piers, where Jeremy, still in the clothes from the night before (although he's ditched the hat, which is probably for the best) is getting his hands cuffed behind his back. So we've got drugs and bondage with this character in the first half of the pilot. Seriously, is Famke Janssen going to show up or what? The problem is that the boat was apparently used to smuggle illegal immigrants into the country, and Jeremy wrote his name in on the title. Of course, this probably isn't even the right boat, given that it was supposed to be at Chelsea Piers and you can see the Brooklyn Bridge in the background. Jeremy protests that he's never seen the guys in his life, prompting them, on the deck of the boat, to give a Jamaican bobsled team-esque cheer (they are all wearing the same track jacket and pants, so they may in fact be a team of some kind) in which they call him "Captain Jeremy." Nick sighs and asks if he taught them that, and he says he was just having a little fun. I'd put that as an accurate assessment. The cops lead Jeremy away, but he tells Nick that he's got to bail him out, as if he misses the party, his parents will kill him. Nick says he'll be right there. Jeremy: "They'll kill me!" Nick grits in response: "Right there!" Hee. I see it's going to be a constant battle between the normally unflappable Nick and the infinitely flap-producing Darlings. And in that vein, Nick gets a call and of course realizes he forgot to pick up his daughter. He yells that in frustration, and we get a crane shot of him running away, which would seem like overkill if we didn't get to see that the Jamaican Whatever Team is lined up watching him go. Hee.