Mei Ling Hwa has apparently confronted Brian, and he's mid-confession; in answer to her questions, he gives up Andrea's name (surname "Smithson") and tells Mei Ling Hwa that she came in for counseling, and that he made the first move. He stopped seeing her over three years ago, but Brian Jr.'s here since she decided that she wanted him to be a Darling. On top of everything else, Mei Ling Hwa is outraged that Brian put his son up to lying, and while he begs for another chance, she tells him in no uncertain terms that she wants a divorce. Well, that went well. (I'm serious. I thought she would skewer him with a hot poker.)

U.N. Tripp, in reference to the Brooklyn Bridge, wonders why Jeremy "concoct[s] impossibilities." He wishes that he would come to him once and suggest something "concrete. Simple. Small." One at a time, Tripp. Nick says that "until that day comes" (hee) he did some asking around, and it will cost at least a million to shut down the bridge alone, and with the cost of the actual party and the $1.6 million that Juliet's apparently already spent, "it's starting to look financially pornographic." Starting to, Nick? Understatement has its time and place, but I think the situation has been a financial Debbie Does Dallas right from the get-go. Also, Tripp's response to the figures Nick quotes is "Lordy zaffy!" and I don't know what that means but it's not going to stop me from adopting it when and if I reach retirement age. Nick further opines that this level of fiscal irresponsibility doesn't bode well for the twins' future, and as such they should shut the parties down, but Tripp's more inclined to let them blow all the money they want, so he has an excuse to have Nick draw up a document delaying the vesting of the trust for five years. Not to argue with a man of Tripp's stature here, but given that these kids currently have the ability to spend seven figures on credit, that may prove to be something of a false economy. Nick doesn't much like that idea, and suggests Tripp sit down with them and try to educate them on how they could be more responsible, but Tripp replies, "Won't work, Nick. It's too late." Totally -- I mean, a diplomatic solution? That's not how we do things at the United Nations! Tripp goes on that when the smoke clears, they'll have time to reflect on their choices. "Reflect. Regret." Sure, introspection and reevaluation. That's what famous twentysomething socialites are known for, right?