Nick presides over a meeting featuring Brian, Andrea, and her lawyer, in which he tries to get everyone to agree that "it's in everyone's best interest to settle this without going to the judge tomorrow." Andrea's lawyer -- let's call him Attorney Lawyerman -- informs the room that his client will settle for nothing less than sole custody Brian Jr. This sends Brian into a familiar it's-funny-because-I'm-a-man-of-god rage, shouting, "Are you out of your freaking mind?" Andrea says she knows what's right for her child, and Brian shouts again, "Says the tramp who slept with me last week to get him back." Suddenly I want this case to go to a full-blown trial, just so we can have some of those good old-fashioned scenes where the court reporter has to read back the last thing said the courtroom, and really lifelessly recites back a line like, "Says the tramp who slept with me last week to get him back." Nick and I remain at cross-purposes here, as he still thinks further escalation can be avoided. He tells Brian that he's handling this, and Brian shouts, "Then handle it!" Nick steps in, reminding the room that Brian Jr. has bonded with his father, and it might not be in the best interest of the child for him to get shipped off to Brazil with his crazy mother. Nick says he has a perfect plan for joint custody, but his attempt to unveil it is quickly washed away when Brian jumps in with his own counteroffer: "I'll give you one million dollars to get up and walk out of here right now." Clearly, Brian is the last person on the planet to learn that taking Karen's advice is, at best, a risky proposition. Attorney Lawyerman stands up and takes Andrea with him, even as Brian's offer climbs to two million dollars, then three. On her way out, Andrea says to Brian, "Now I remember why it didn't work with us. You're not a human being." Attorney Lawyerman and Andrea depart, leaving Nick and Brian alone in the room. Nick fixes Brian with a glare, and Brian rationalizes, "Don't look at me like that. Three million was more than fair." It is a lot of money. I'm just saying I wouldn't NOT sell my son for it. Er, I mean, "What a cad!"
Back at the George residence, it's time for the scene where Nick has to deliver some bad news to Lisa about having to spend more time with the Darlings than he thought he would have to, and Lisa struggles to be okay with it, deciding that she is okay with it as long as the scenario doesn't have anything to do with Karen. You know. That scene? You might not remember it, because this is only the eighth episode of this show, so you've only seen this scene eight times. Nick arrives home with a flower arrangement it looks like he picked up at Ralph's on the way, and Lisa tells him that this had better not be his way of saying he's missing Thanksgiving. Nick swears that he isn't, but adds that he has to postpone the painting until the weekend because he has to go up to the country house to broker the meeting between Tripp, Patrick, and Simon Elder. Which a) we already know; and b) if I tried to give that much information about my boring work life to my significant other, there would be a sound effect of fake snoring, followed by a quick change of subject. And if I were Nick's boss, I'd probably be like, "Hey, by the way, I pay you millions of dollars to deal with privileged information about many sensitive topics, so if you could avoid posting it all on oversharingwithmywife.blogspot.com, that would be super-helpful. Love, Tripp Darling. PS. What the hell is a 'blogspot'? I'm old!" Lisa tells Nick that it's okay, that she'll probably start painting because she knew he wouldn't get to it and wanted it done before the holidays. "Because, you know, I actually care." Yo, just hire someone.












