Failing to keep this case out of the hands of a judge, Nick watches as Brian argues for custody of Brian Jr. in front of an arbitrator, as the other usual suspects look on. He makes the pretty legitimate argument that Andrea should not be allowed to take Brian Jr. away to "freakin' Brazil," and that he should share custody. The arbitrator thanks Brian for his "forthrightness," before turning things over to Attorney Lawyerman, whose first question to Brian is the incendiary, "Who is Gustave?" Uh. Oh. Brian dresses his answer up in the best PR spin he can, responding that that is a nickname. But Attorney Lawyerman keeps at it, asking if Brian told his son to lie that his parents died in a car accident. But Brian finds just the loophole he was looking for: "It was a bullet train, not a car. Get your facts straight." He continues on that he was just providing an opportunity for Brian Jr. to work with him to smooth the way for a new family structure by turning it into a "fun game." But Attorney Lawyerman has all the facts he needs, slamming it home that not only was Brian Jr. put on a Swedish diet, he also was so crippled by fear of being found out that he finally squealed. It's all true, but I will thank you to leave the recapping to the professionals.
Outside the manse -- say, weren't we supposed to be heading up to a country house at some point in this episode? -- Jeremy encounters Clark the driver and explains that he needs to go on a date to a place that won't make his girlfriend think he's super rich. He asks Clark where people like him go out, and when Clark asks for clarification of the statement "people like me," Jeremy spells it out: "Poor people. Where do you eat when you go out?" Clark says that he actually makes a pretty good living working for the Darlings, but Jeremy counters, "I don't know what's going on with the whole silent-movie-star moustache, but it seems pretty poverty-related." And though that line was just a set-up for the joke to come, it's still 100% funny when Clark volleys back, "You're right, Jeremy. I can't actually afford a beard." Jeremy announces that that was "a good one," because, really, it was. Still, Clark decides to help him out, telling him that sometimes he and his wife go out for pizza. Sometimes, afterward, they take a bottle of wine out on the roof, and if the mood strikes them, well, "you know poor people." Jeremy, thrilled with this information, proclaims Clark, "the fountain of middle-class romance-formation." Without missing a beat, Clark notes, "I've been called that before." And just like that, another spin-off idea is born.