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Dirty Sexy Money

Episode Report Card

DeAnn Welker: B- | 327 USERS: B-

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Oh, Shoot!

By DeAnn Welker | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 2008.12.10

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Some good stuff actually happened tonight (I know! Try not to die from the shock!), but don’t worry; it’s still this season’s Dirty Sexy Money, so plenty of really cheesy, annoying stuff happened that will make you want to shoot someone. Incidentally, Ellen’s brother Chase feels the same way by the end of the episode. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The good: Patrick doesn’t care what anyone else thinks and, after reuniting with Carmelita, invites her to lunch and then to his inauguration to stand beside him. They really are the most healthy, comfortable, at-ease couple on this show. I love their relationship. Meanwhile, Brian struggles to come to terms with the fact that Andrea’s going to die. And then he runs in to his old bishop, who asks him to come back now. Brian refuses, because he basically thinks God is an ass. But then he goes to church and prays, telling God he’ll do whatever he wants him to if he’ll just save Andrea. Next thing we know, she’s doing better. Brian heads back to the church to tell the bishop he’s back. Here’s the thing, though: He doesn’t want to work with the bishop. He wants his job. He’s still Brian, after all. It can’t all be happiness and divinity. Also, Jeremy is sort of cute in his desire to help Nola after finding out she’s in a twisted deal with Simon (he has control of her brother, whatever that means, and won’t tell her where he is).

The bad: Karen’s mopey about Simon not marrying her, and she’s still blaming Nick. Finally, her mom tells her it’s not Nick’s fault that Simon was a jerk and Nick helped save her from it, so she should go talk to him. She tries. Ellen’s brother, Chase, does one good deed (inadvertently getting Carmelita to return to Patrick) and then goes off the deep end, big-time, after thinking (falsely) that Nick betrayed him. And by “off the deep end,” I mean breaking in to Nick’s house, bloodying up Karen, and then heading to the inauguration to fire several shots as the end of the episode fades to black. People who he might have shot: Patrick, Carmelita, Tripp, Letitia, Nick. Probably not Jeremy, because Nick pushes him pretty hard down some stairs in order to save him. Unfortunately, there’s no “next time on,” which makes me think they might pull the episode they have scheduled for next week. Which would not be nice, considering that cliffhanger.

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We open with our establishing shots of New York skyline porn, and then we're in a big, fancy walk-in closet with Karen, who's throwing out clothes, all "Garbage. Garbage. Garbage." Nick walks in, and Karen says, "Speak of the devil." Then he asks what she's doing, and she explains: She's purging everything Simon ever gave her or liked. She does it after every marriage. She adds that this wasn't a marriage since there was no wedding, but she does it in a really snotty way so that Nick knows he's the one she's blaming it all on. Instead of, you know, Simon. Or herself for being an idiot. He's just there with papers for her to sign to reinstate her stock. She says getting her stock back makes nothing better. He tells her he might not have handled the situation very well, but he did it all for her because he cares about her. She asks him to leave.

In Tripp's office, Tripp is letting Nick know that Ellen's brother, Chase, is becoming a problem again. Tripp heard from the manager at Darling Avionics that Chase is spreading his theory. And with Patrick's inauguration 48 hours away, that means Tripp needs Nick to go to Bethpage and talk to him. Nick says he's kind of in the middle of the last several dozen favors Tripp has asked him for (although, technically, if you're getting paid millions, they're not so much "favors" as "your job"), including finishing the partnership agreement with Simon. Nick suggest Brian go, but Tripp says Brian has too much to do with Andrea in the hospital and Brian Jr. to take care of. Plus, Chase sort of trusts Nick.

Tripp's in a meeting with Nola and Patrick, in which Tripp and Nola are arguing over whether Patrick should be inaugurated on the Senate floor like everyone else (Nola) or in Federal Hall in New York (Tripp). Patrick sighs, all like, "Whatever." He says this would mean more to him if Carmelita were here. Nola's a bitch about it, telling him to move on. Tripp finally says he agrees with Nola, although he's a little nicer. He says Carmelita's a lovely individual but would not be a benefit in this situation. Nola gets a "Meet me. Now" text from Simon, and gets up to leave. She thanks Tripp for agreeing, and he says on those rare occasions he agrees with her, she'll find him by her side. She replies, "How very ... patronizing." I know a lot of people hate her in this role, but I think what they actually hate is this role. Lucy Liu is totally owning Nola's bitchiness. I like it.