Behind the old man's eyes a dam of love broke¸ remembering Abigail. Remembering Kazran. Half wounded, half in shadow. Gathering the pieces of himself, holding them tight. Begging to be whole.
They rush to the isomorphic thing, now that Scrooge cares again, but he's changed too much. The Doctor's done too much damage, too much healing. He produces his half of the screwdriver but the Doctor can't think of anything for a moment. Until he does: The other half, lodged in a shark high up in the clouds. Resonant. Young Scrooge and Old stay close together as the Doctor works; they stare at each other in blossoming horror and understanding as the Doctor explains their last hope: She will have to sing: "It calmed the shark. It will calm the sky, too." One half battered; one half old and barely living at all. Reaching out across the skies, the years, to heal itself.
It was always Christmas Eve, for Abigail and Kazran: Never Christmas. It hasn't snowed in fifty years. But her voice unlocks the clouds, standing in the streets, and the people rush out into the lanes to see it. Like the day he missed the fish, for the world over. The Doctor takes him home; he stands out in the snow with his beloved as she teases him for saving her days, like a miser.
And this is what she sings: "When you're alone/ Silence is all you see/ When you're alone/ Silence is all you'll be/ When you are here/ Music is all around/ When you are near/ Music is all around/ Open your eyes/ Don't make a sound..."
I won't remark on the Silence there, but I like this next bit: "Let in the shadow/ Let in the light/ Of your bright shadow." The things he was afraid of -- love, the Doctor, pain, loss -- chased him like a shark into a corner. The things you leave out are the things that fuck you up. He made himself half of a man because the alternative was too hard. Easier to pretend people are cattle than to admit them. Not the newest story, but one of the best.
His life changed forever, when he took that boy in his arms; but his life began when she sang down the snow. She was his bright shadow, and he let her in. It was their last night together¸ and it was their first Christmas.
Halfway out of the dark.













Comments