Doctor Who
A Christmas Carol

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
One Month Of Honey
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

More distracting lens flare than you can shake an Enterprise at, and the stormgate is critical as a pleasure barge crew runs around shouting on the bridge: They're heading into a very intense atmosphere and there's no response from the surface. Amy and her husband what's his face, Rory, come running out having summoned the Doctor to save them, and of course they are wearing policewoman and Centurion outfits, because of course people in their twenties are so bad at sex that they require kinky outfits. (On the other hand, if you ever wondered whether the policewoman outfit was exactly what it seemed to be, now you know. Both inside and outside the show.) Very dangerous, lots of science fiction yelling and more lens flare, and they're heading into orbit, and then there's the TARDIS, coming up alongside: It's Christmas.

Down on the planet a sour Mr. Sardick is giving a speech about Christmas, like so: "On every world, wherever people are, in the deepest part of the winter, at the exact midpoint... Everybody stops and turns and hugs. As if to say Well done. Well done, everyone. We're halfway out of the dark. Back on Earth, we called this Christmas. Or the Winter Solstice. On this world, the first settlers called it the Crystal Feast."

Hugs. Isn't that just jolly? But here on the planet of the fish-fog, Sardick calls it expecting something for nothing. He is not one for "hugs," no sir. He is one for meanness and yelling at poor people. I certainly hope somebody comes along and teaches him the meaning of Christmas by showing him his past, present and future. That would be original.

The Cratchits in question are there to see a beautiful lady who is apparently frozen in a coffin with only her face exposed. They'd like him to let her out so she can enjoy Christmas -- her favorite holiday -- but since nobody has reprogrammed his brain yet, he doesn't care a whole lot. In fact, he jokes about it incessantly. Sometimes he'll make a pun that's not that funny and then turn to his employees and say, "That was funny," and they'll laugh. He's a very unique character. So the situation is that on this planet, where he lives now even though he once apparently lived on Earth -- not that we'll ever get back to that -- he is in charge of things like the sky and the fog-fish and also loaning people money. In return, he takes their loved ones and puts them in frozen caskets for a while. Doesn't that sound likely?

Turns out this family has had this young lady in cold storage for a good long while, in fact: Her sister is now more the age of her mother. I don't know about you, but if my family left me in there that long I would have something to say about it. That's because I have a personality, though, so no worries here. One of the employees keeps trying to tell Scrooge that there's a spaceship about to crash into the planet, but he doesn't really care. He thinks it will be funny if they die. And he hasn't even met Rory yet!

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