Doctor Who
Aliens Of London (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C- | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Did Gyre And Gimble In The Suck

Downstairs, Mickey is watching curiously as the Doctor -- wedged under the console -- putters around with his screwdriver. The Doctor calls him Rickey, is again corrected, and again calls him Rickey, just like a scene ago: "If I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand?" Mickey allows as how he probably wouldn't, and the Doctor tells him to shut it, then. Mickey gives him the evils and wanders back around to Rose. "He's winding you up," she explains, but Mickey's still peeved. She apologizes again, and he tells her it's okay. She earnestly repeats herself, and he gazes at her: "Every day, I looked. On every street corner, wherever I went, looking for a blue box. For a whole year." Rose gives the non-answer that it's only been a few days for her. Like, how would she know, really? She's given this speech three times in her last three scenes. Maybe it's TARDIS throwing off her short-term memory centers: "It's hard to tell inside this fing, but I swear it's just a few days since I left you." He leads the witness to tell him she missed him, and they get romantic. She asks if he's been seeing anybody else, and he says no, and she's pleased, but of course he mentions that it's "mainly" because everyone thinks he killed Rose, and that stings her a bit. He asks if she'll stay, and they lean for a kiss, and just then there's a small burst of sparks inside the console: "Got it! Haha!" Like it's surprising that this production would turn the Companion/Doctor relationship into the Straight Girl/Gay Boy Alliance, but it's still hilarious. Sucks for Mickey, though.

Rose trots on over to the Doctor's side, and the Doctor explains that he's somehow been able to use radar to watch the crash-landing in slow motion: "Hold on...see, the spaceship did a slingshot round the Earth before it landed." Rose: "What does that mean?" ("Excellent question, Rose.") Of course, the answer is: WORMHOLE! -- and yeah, thanks, I had actually noticed how hypocritical it was of me to talk advance shit about this episode and its farting aliens. "It means it came from Earth in the first place -- it went up and came back down. Whoever those aliens are, they haven't just arrived. They've been here for a while. The question is, what have they been doing?" ("Excellent question, the Doctor. Thanks for reminding us there's a mystery going on. Again.")

In the Cabinet Room, the alien who was previously inside Transportation Oliver is now wearing the skin suit of Asquith: "What do you think? How's the compression? I think I've got too much ballast round the middle..." He farts, and the aliens attempt to BS/technobabble about how there's a "gas exchange" issue that causes the farting and...I don't want to say that this attempt somehow cheapens the farting, because that would be ridiculous, but I do think it somehow compounds the problem. Not that explanation-free flatulence would be better, really, but just that it seems to be a cake-and-eat-it-too kind of proposition. Also, this is the second episode in which specifically the gas of the human body has been a major plot point. As Harriet watches, grossed out, Green grabs the discarded Oliver skin. Asquith sighs. "Shame! I quite enjoyed being Oliver. He had a wife, a mistress, and a young farmer." The way he says this, it's clear he either ate all three of them, or...you know, all that stuff about MPs and the British government is true. Expensive lashings while dressed as milkmaids and all that. Asquith né Oliver comes close to Harriet's cupboard, and she squeezes back, but he just chucks the skin inside and considers MI-5 Margaret and PM Joseph: "...God, I was busy." They way they're all laughing, I think maybe it was an Option A/Option B combo. Aliens are gross. "Back to work!" shouts the acting PM, and "I have an army to command!" shouts the General, but MI-5 Margaret cautions them: "Careful now..." They leave the room, and Harriet examines Oliver's leftover skin.

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