Doctor Who
Aliens Of London (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C- | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Did Gyre And Gimble In The Suck

Indra is in the "Denial" stage of being eaten by farting aliens: "That's impossible. He left this afternoon. The Prime Minister left Downing Street, he was driven away!" MI-5 Margaret -- who is clearly an alien -- spells it out for him all scary: "And who told you that? Hmm?" She approaches the terrified and confused Indra, stroking the bangs off her forehead.

The Doctor explains to the alien experts that they've all been herded together by fake government so that they can be killed to continue the cover-up. This is quite an inventive story, for all the details I dislike. It's clever altogether, and does a good job of tying the emotional stuff to the plot stuff to the overall themes of the episode and the season, but then...why take something lovely and dip it in farts? I don't understand. Speaking of, Green farts, and the Doctor fixes him with an eyebrow: "Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?" The reply ("Would you rather silent but deadly?") makes Asquith and Green -- and possibly Russell T Davies -- snigger like schooboys. The Doctor stares as Asquith takes off his hat and unzips his forehead, Green laughing maniacally all the way. Asquith pulls the skin suit all the way down, as the Doctor stares.

MI-5 Margaret strips her skin suit, freaking out Indra and Rose and Harriet, and we finally start to see what they really look like: fat green Paris Hilton. Big alien eyes, roly-poly fat everywhere like a baby, Wet Seal belt around the neck, tiny little nose. Sideways-blinking, clicking eyes. Thanks to the eyes, they're like the usual aliens, but if you saw them in a squished down fatty Funhouse mirror.

Jackie stops making tea due to the unearthly blue light pouring out of the overweight policeman in the other room. Standing in the doorway of her kitchen, she commences freaking out at what she sees.

The Asquith alien, now fully stripped off, stands and addresses himself to the room of alien experts: "We are the Slitheen."

The MI-5 alien roars and snatches Indra, strangling him against the wall...

...as the cop one rears back to strike a screaming Jackie...

...and Green produces a small weapon in the briefing room: "Thank you all for wearing your ID cards. They'll help to identify the bodies." He depresses a switch, and the room fills with light. The Doctor drops to his knees, screaming.

Harriet and Rose watch Indra die, downstairs.

Jackie shrieks in her kitchen.

The Doctor's whole body is shaking. PM Green smiles disgustingly, and Asquith, completely slithery, laughs into the camera. And yet I feel like everybody's going to be okay, except for Indra. Just a hunch. See you next week.

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Doctor Who

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