Doctor Who
Aliens Of London (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C- | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Did Gyre And Gimble In The Suck

Asquith leads a military group into the hospital lab where a Dr. Ru has the body covered in a cloth. Dr. Ru is very pretty, with a lovely voice, and apparently only goes for acting jobs a couple of times a decade. At Asquith's command, she pulls back the cloth, and we don't see whatever it is that they're looking at. Asquith is freaked: "Good God. That's real? It's not a hoax or a dummy, or a...?" Dr. Ru shakes her head, saying she's x-rayed the skull and that the beast makes no sense inside. Asquith tells her to get the horrid thing out of sight until the experts arrive, and they load it into a coldroom. Out in the corridor, Ru stops Asquith, and asks him if the rumors about the PM are true. Interesting. He doesn't answer her -- just turns and leads his men out again -- and she fusses back into the lab.

Commercial break #2, including a spot for some hideous abortion called SS Doomtrooper that seems to ask, "What if Grant Morrison had a lobotomy and then took over writing The Incredible Hulk, surrounded by piles of crystal meth and mainlining Aaron Sorkin's stem cells?"

The reporter goes into more detail about the disappeared prime minister, who hasn't been reachable since this whole thing started. The opposition (you mean, the Shadow Cabinet? Shadow Cabinet! I love saying "Shadow Cabinet"!) is criticizing his lack of leadership, which I'm guessing means his ass is dead.

We get a report on a man entering the PM's offices (10 Downing Street), who it turns out is a Joseph Green, who is the MP for "Hartleydale" and chairman of "the parliamentary commission on the monitoring of sugar standards in exported confectionery. With respect, hardly the most important person right now." Word. How boring is that? Joseph Green enters the building and is greeted by a person my notes describe as "the Junior Hottie Secretary," a fellow named Indra Ganesh. Indra puts off Green's bloviating about the PM's 20 and begs that he wait to discuss it in private, and they are interrupted by a woman approaching from behind: "Excuse me! Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North." Indra asks her to wait, and Harriet responds matter-of-factly that she has a 3:15. Indra's like, "Cool, but also there's a UFO in the middle of London, so could you back off?" They turn away and up the stairs, and Indra tries to get started, asking if Green's heard about the ET yet, but Green just keeps asking where the PM is. Indra finally gives it up: "No one knows, sir. He's disappeared. I have to inform you [that], with the city grid locked and the Cabinet stranded, that makes you acting Prime Minister. With immediate effect." Green makes a worried face, and then passes some gas. He's already a pretty broad actor -- and I say that in the context of a show which last week included Charles Dickens With Boots Made For Kicking and a Crazy Glowing Shrieking Kung-Fu Grandma, and the week before had a cast composed of a stretched-out face, a giant head in a bottle, rat people, blue people, and talking trees -- and of course, I don't know if you can do farting in a Lipton-certified way regardless, but it's a lot to take. At least Indra has the grace to be icked out. Green apologizes for his "nervous stomach," and they run into a large blonde woman, a Margaret Blaine, who's with MI-5. She tells them, and us, that she "personally escorted the Prime Minister from the Cabinet Room to his car," and introduces us to a third new person, Oliver Charles, the "transport liaison." Oliver tells us that the PM's car -- to which Margaret personally conducted the PM -- has since "literally vanished." It's all very West Wing with the fast talking and no way of knowing what will be important later.

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