Ru opens the alien's locker, and screams.
The Doctor immediately drops the smile and runs for Ru, shouting to the men, "Defense part delta! Come on, move, move!" They all fall behind him -- and either this is nuts, or has to do with the Doctor's UNIT history we'll be hearing about in a bit, but either way, at this point it's distracting, if kind of cool -- and they take off down the corridor. The Doctor spots Ru cowering against a wall and whimpering that "it's alive." He directs the squad to lock down the perimeter, and comforts Dr. Ru. There's a cut on her forehead, I guess from when she freaked out and fell. "I swear it was dead," she stutters, and the Doctor hypothesizes that it could have been anything: "Coma, shock, hibernation..." The Doctor asks what it looks like, and then hears a scurrying sound. "It's still here," he says, turning. He beckons a soldier to accompany him into the lab, crawling around to find the beast. Around the corner of a desk, he sees the face of...a pig. Sus scrofa scrofa. A sub-Babe kind of animatronic pig, wearing clothes and trotting on two legs like Napoleon. He says hello, startling the pig into running off, and he yells at the soldier not to shoot. The pig escapes out into the corridor and gets shot, pissing off the Doctor. As he comforts it there on the floor, dying, the Doctor complains to the soldiers that it was scared. I don't know what all this is about, but I do know that now you've got pigs and fat farting aliens, and three points is a plane and not a line.
In the Cabinet Room, Harriet hears the alien officials approaching, Asquith yelling at them for falling down on the job: "I've got the White House phoning me direct because Downing Street won't answer their calls! This is outrageous! We haven't even started the vaccination program. This is appalling. The nations of the world are watching the United Kingdom!" Green whines that the incursion has been "a bit of a shock," and Asquith corrects him: "This is the greatest crisis in modern history, and you've done nothing! Your behavior has been shameful, sir! You're supposed to be in charge! And we need positive leadership, the capital's ground to a halt!" They enter, as Harriet finally finds a cupboard to duck inside. Asquith concludes that "we can only assume that the Prime Minister's disappearance is the direct result of hostile alien action," and that they've done nothing about it. Green weirdly ahems that he was under the impression that he was now PM, and Asquith reminds him that it's only by default. Green pooh-poohs that, given that he's been having such a droll time, and then all three aliens start to laugh scarily. Transportation Oliver farts and they laugh and giggle, and Asquith begins to wonder where the hell the rest of the Cabinet is -- shouldn't they have been flown in or something by now? Green admits to having cancelled that -- "They'd only get in the way" -- and then fucking farts some more. MI-5 Margaret joins in, stupidly: "I'm shaking my booty!" This is like a Bette Midler movie written by Pauly Shore for horrible children. Somebody offer their asses some amber Tokay or I'm turning this shit off. Asquith realizes that between the erratic decisionmaking and now near-constant flatulence, he'd probably best relieve Green of his duty. At that, the laughter stops, and Green stares at Asquith. "...And by God, I'll put this country under martial law if I have to." Green makes fun of him -- "Oh, I'm scared...that's hair-raising! I mean literally!" -- because the only thing more hysterically funny to adults than farts is bad puns. He then unzips his forehead, emitting a bright blue light from inside. Asquith begins to wig out, and the other two, still hooting frighteningly, unzip their heads, too. Inside the cupboard, Harriet freaks out, watching as something unspecified but very squishy happens to Asquith.