Doctor Who
Amy's Choice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Would You Go Along With Someone Like Me?

Anyway, Amy gasps and drops her -- it's cupcakes, that's what she's making, of course -- drops her bowl and screams for Rory. She screams so loud! That voice they get. She screams and it echoes across the moors or the tundra or whatever they have, and it scares the crows, and it's horrible and deafening. Rory rides up on his bicycle with a stupid fake-looking ponytail and into the house, and the second he's in there everything's fine, she's eating cupcake batter right out of the bowl, propped on her big stupid stomach. He's terrified, but of course it was a false alarm.

To her credit, Amy chuckles winningly and daubs a little batter on his face, woggling eyebrows as she points out she's never had a baby before. When I try to think about somebody less wonderful than Karen Gillan playing this moderately thankless role, I get very nervous. Same deal with old Matt, who always gives the least obnoxious reading possible to the Doctor's rudest lines. So they hear a sound and it's the VWORP, and Rory bitches about leafblowers for some hilarious reason, and they go out running into the garden.

The Doctor has landed in the garden, for which Amy will kill him, and then she comes out to meet him, huffing and puffing, and he remarks for the remainder of the scene, over and over, about how fat she is. Because she's pregnant, you see. I guess he's an alien or something so he doesn't know what pregnancy looks like, which is not only retarded but also makes him look like an asshole who calls her fat several times before finally figuring it out. Ha! Pregnant women are so fat! It's because there's a baby in there!

With spooky old folks looking on, through spooky old windows and dusty old certains, The Doctor talks about how boring Leadworth continues to be, even five years later, and they give a sort of middle-class shiver about how they live in Upper Leadworth now, and apologize for the quietness, explaining that it's "really restful and healthy." The deal is that lots of people in Leadworth live well into their nineties, which is a theme of the two worlds here: In Leadworth, you get old. With the Doctor, you just get cold. Or dead. Or crazy. You can hear the birds already.

"I don't just abandon people when they leave the TARDIS," the Doctor lies. "This Time Lord's for life. You don't get rid of the Doctor so easily." Amy knows better: He just got lost. Perhaps if the Doctor were dreaming this story, he would like to think he is the kind of person that doesn't abandon them, after all. They fill in the blanks for each other, and talk more about how boring their lives are. He makes fun of their benches, and refers to the village specifically as suicidally boring, in such a cute way as you can sort of see his point. And they get a little defensive about the horrors of Leadworth, and how they like to listen to the birds -- and how much less time there was for birdsong, when they were together -- and then Leadworth is so boring they fall asleep, all three of them, there on the bench.

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Doctor Who

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