Doctor Who
Army Of Ghosts (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Et In Arcadia Ego

Yvonne approaches an assistant's desk, at Torchwood: "So, what've we got? Any sign of that power loss?" The girl smiles, and she is beautiful and arch. Her name could be anything -- "Martha Jones"; or really, "Lisa" would I think be best -- but for the purposes of this recap, it's "Adeola." Which is lovely, don't you think? "No problems," says Addie. "Must've been a glitch." Yvonne bluetooths down to Rajesh, also from EastEnders, in the room where they're keeping something awful. He's got his feet up on the desk and is immersed in a book: "It's so busy down here, I'm on Sudoku Book 509." Yvonne nods, understandingly, and notes that they had a great ghost shift. "I know," says Rajesh. "We had nothing." He takes his glasses off, down there, and stands up. "Did they tell you? R&D came up with a new spectrometer yesterday. Barged in here, all full of themselves, said they could detect the heat off a single protozoa through half a mile of steel." And? "Nothing. It gave them nothing. Same as ever. The machines keep saying the sphere can't exist. But there it is." Rajesh looks up at a giant metal sphere, hanging eerily/Rambaldily in mid-air, at the end of the room. It is bronze, a stepladder just underneath. "Anything we can do?" asks Yvonne kindly, and he shakes his head: "It's just...Gets into your head, this thing. Like it's staring at you." She laughs, but she knows what he means; best not to discuss it. "All right, we'll catch up later. Thanks, Raj." He says goodbye and stands upon the ladder, to touch it. To jump. An invisible barrier manifests between his hand and the sphere; he pushes and his hand skids off. He climbs back down, dejected. I mean to say that he wants to touch it, perhaps more than anything -- Jump! -- but cannot. It can't be touched. It can't touch him. Yet.

Yvonne tells Matt, another assistant, to send Rajesh something, to fight off the propinquity of Hell: "He's going mad down there...Not alcohol," she adds cheerfully. I love Yvonne. I like her creepiness and I like her love of the staff and her job; I like how she's what Harriet should have been, in the end. In order for the Doctor's flip-out to make more sense. I like thinking about how she and Harriet would have worked together and against each other. I like thinking about what Torchwood demands. Yvonne goes back into her office; a random gives Adeola (Martha! Lisa! Adeola!) a printout about something, I guess the ghost shift. She glances over at Gareth -- almost an Ianto, in the face, if only he wasn't about to fall, first soldier down; if he were only Welsh and even hotter than he is -- and IMs him: "god i'm bored." One of those, eh? They grin at each other, and he types back more of that nonsense, basically asking her to take a coffee break but with a lot of that retard syntax we don't like. (Russell! This is not What The Kids Are Doing!) Good grammar costs nothing, people. Do you know how drunk I have to be before I say shit like "LOL"? So very. Gareth asks leave to doublecheck the stats, and takes off; Addie immediately asks leave to crossref the shift levels with the sphere activity, and takes off also. Yvonne and the others with whom she's conferencing grin at each other conspiratorially: "And they think we haven't noticed." Everyone laughs lovingly and goes back to work. Torchwood is people. That's the beauty and the tragedy both; and arrogance is the Bad Wolf of the season.

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