Doctor Who
Bad Wolf (1)

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Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Lynda says again that it's just the "transmat," the way they pick the housemates, but the Doctor's already gone beyond. "Oh, Lynda with a "Y." Sweet little Lynda.... It's worse than that." The Doctor looks out at us, staring into the mirror where he knows the camera lies: "I'm not just a passing traveler, no stupid little transmat gets inside my ship. That beam was fifteen million times more powerful, which means...this isn't just a game. There's something else going on." He steps closer to us. "Well! Here's the latest update from the Big Brother house. I'm getting out. I'm gonna find my friends. And then I'm gonna find you." He sticks his finger in your face. I had to have this explained to me, but it works in the UK like this: Davina would say, "I'm coming to get you," like a police escort, right, and then she would come and get the evicted housemate. (By comparison, Julie sits in a gorgeous living room and waits for their asses to carry their bags out to see her, while wearing amazing outfits and body glitter, and then interrogates them mercilessly with a cold, awesome smile.) When Davina's location was moved closer to the front door, they kept up the tradition, so she's saying it basically from just outside, which somehow makes it creepier. Like the Big Bad Wolf. The things you miss as an American. Just remember this for later: "I'm coming to get you."

A male programmer sees the proceedings and knows a situation is coming. He approaches a female programmer, who is working at a computer, and asks for a word, but she's busy doing some live production stuff on Rose's Weakest Link.

In the studio, Rose is still complaining to Rodrick about finding the Doctor, but he kind of shoves her and tells her to shut up and play the game, to which Rose responds, "All right then, what the hell? I'm gonna play to win!" She smiles, even though the information has always been her issue: having it, earning it. If the Doctor's nightmare is capture, hers is ignorance. It's a big timespace continuum out there, and another word for the things you don't know is "alien." Anne starts up, and asks the contestants easy questions ("Food anagram for beard," "258 minus 158"), and Rodrick banks. If you need to know what that means, ask somebody else, because I never understood it. Game shows are, like, totally mysterious to me. Eventually, Anne gets to the boy on the end, a hottie name of Broff, and asks where the Great Cobalt Pyramid was built. And this is where a funny thing happened to me. I don't think it has to do with this question, or the answer ("Torchwood"), but I think there was a chain of mental events that I still don't have all the pieces to, and it started here. I told you that I saw "The Christmas Invasion," "The Empty Child," and "The Doctor Dances" on New Year's, and "the beginning of the Big Brother one." And it was at this point, bless them, that LisaDiane and Joey look at each other, in the dark, over my sweet little head, and said in unison, "no." And Joey turned this shit right off. Made the hairs on my neck stand up, because how deep or awful could this possibly go, right? So deep, so awful, and I'm glad they did, as we'll see by the end of this episode. So anyway, based on episode descriptions, I assumed that all the stuff we've been talking about this week happened in "The Long Game," which makes sense, and then I just completely forgot about it altogether by the time we got there. (Except for the Captain Jack part, but I mean, you could make that part up yourself.) I thought the reality TV stuff was okay, kinda silly, just like now -- but the whole world around it is so different. Isn't that crazy?

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