Doctor Who
Bad Wolf (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Your Viewing Numbers Hate Cliffhangers

Cutie Broff's face falls as Rose laughs. As if she knew the answer about the Great Cobalt Pyramid. More easy questions, and the woman on the opposite end, Fitch, misses a question about Red Blood Cells, and again Rose laughs, and again the wrong Link looks at her like she just slapped an infant in its crib. Rose is up next, asked who the Grexnik is married to in the holovid series Jupiter Rising. I'm guessing the answer is "Paula Marshall," because Rob Thomas does all those Roman mythology shows and I hope he's still doing it in 200,000 AD. Apparently Paula played "Lord Drayvole" on that show, given Anne's answer, and up in the booth the female programmer is asking why the fuck Rose would be laughing at this point, since she answered wrong. It takes a second, but the programmer finally grasps that maybe Rose doesn't know what's really going on. "And I've got a housemate to appear out of nowhere," her friend pipes up. "I told you -- it's like the game's running itself."

Jack stands flexing in the mirror, wearing black leather trousers and a white vest. It's a look, I guess. If it was just this for an hour a week, Captain Jack could be wearing the Synergy uniforms from Embassy Suites and I'd still watch that show. Trying On Clothing With Captain Jack Harkness. Trin-E calls it the "buccaneer look": "dash of pirate" with "a tweak of President Schwarzenegger." Those kind of jokes are not funny! Jack suggests some color into the mix, but Zu-Zana chides that block with color "makes the colour look cheap and the black look boring." (The "U" is for "unusual and archaic spelling"!) He points to a jacket he likes, and Zu-zana says that it's a bit too "Hell's Angel," and points out that a shorter jacket will "show off the bum." Which she then smacks. I don't know what's going on here. Somebody wrote this down on a piece of paper and then a crew of people made it happen, and now I'm getting paid to watch it happen and tell you about it. Captain Jack Harkness Getting Naked And Spanked By Robots. Every week, dude. This Torchwood thing just got a lot more interesting. Trin-E asks Jack whether he's ever thought about cosmetic surgery, and he admits to considering an eyelift and maybe some jawline work, and as he does this he cops a feel of the robot's breasts. For real. These robots are like those Lego people -- they are not sophisticated, they are not fooling anybody. Jack is a freak. "Oh, let's have a bit more ambition," says Trin-E, and removes her forearm to reveal a chainsaw. "Let's do something...cutting edge." In other news, everybody's viewing figures just plummeted. Not Touching A Damn Hair On Captain Jack Harkness's Beautiful Face.

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Doctor Who

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