Doctor Who
Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 1448 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Truth Like Glass

The Doctor comes up to the Mayor's office, where her secretary, Idris Hopper, sits. Idris has a Little Britain kind of face but a lovely Welsh accent. He asks for the Doctor's appointment, since she's having tea, and there isn't one, but the Doctor insists that he tell her "the Doctor would like to see her," verbatim. Idris sighs and heads, and the Doctor grins calmly outside, hands clasped behind his back, barely registering when a teacup smashes inside, and there's perhaps a tiny squeal. Idris, now sweating it, comes back out, and shuts the door serenely behind him. "The Lord Mayor says thanks for popping by, she'd love to have a chat, but, um...she's up to her eyes in paperwork. Perhaps if you could make an appointment for next week?" The Doctor asks Idris whether the Mayor isn't, in fact, climbing out the window, and Idris admits that she is. The Doctor pushes into the office and out to the balcony, where he sees Margaret hopping out onto some construction scaffolding. He calls to the others, over their cell phones, "Slitheen heading North!" and Rose and Jack radio back and head that way. Mickey continues to be useless. Suddenly, Idris tackles the Doctor on the balcony, screaming.

Rose runs down a hallway shoving people, scattering papers like a badass, and Jack does the long jump over a tea cart, causing a polite British squeak of surprise. Mickey does nothing for awhile but gob around like a codfish and then tangle with a cleaning cart. Get it? Rose and Jack converge from different entrances, while Mickey -- I'm not making this up -- hops around with his foot in a mop bucket. There is also toilet paper, which is always a sign of somebody being out of their depth for some reason. The "it's for kids" defense is getting mighty tired from where I'm standing, considering the show's really creepy most of the time, and the main character is a genocide, but come on: that's not even funny to a dull kid. It's just a guy with his foot in a mop bucket like a thousand guys with mops on their feet before. The only reason you'd laugh at that is if you'd never seen a guy with his foot stuck in a mop bucket before. If you were somehow pre-Buster Keaton or whatever. And even then, you'd have to be a little stupid. It's a place-holder for a real joke, and it happens a lot in certain episodes. Fuck that, it's insulting -- to everybody, kids included. Especially kids, because they get blamed for what is in essence a breakdown in creativity. So the Doctor and Idris grapple on the balcony, and Margaret reaches the bottom floor, and takes off, removing her broach as she does so. Rose corners Margaret and she hisses, pulling off an earring, but then Jack's on her other side, and she starts to freak and heads back and away, but the Doctor is on his way down the scaffolding, calling out to her: "Margaret!" But there are four exits, right, so she takes off toward the last one, removing her other earring, as Jack, Rose and the Doctor converge at one end, wondering who on earth could have been posted to Exit Four, and of course it was Mickey, who shows up panting at this point with like a fucking banana peel on his shoe and gloves on his feet and socks on his hands and the ever-present bucket and a t-shirt that says "I'm With Stupid" and the arrow's pointing straight up, and there's some toilet paper coming out of his pantyhose and a funny, funny hat. Like a Viking hat, or a propeller beanie.

Doctor Who

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