In some far future, River Song is reading through a folder marked "Eye Witness Accounts." The children's stories are among them. River consults her TARDIS diary and notes the Lake Silencio appointment. She's in the library at Luna University, wearing her graduation robe. "Ticktock goes the clock," says Madame Kovarian from the shadows. She recites more of it and says, "Such a lovely old song. But is it about him?" River is excited to meet someone who might know of the Doctor. To explain why River doesn't remember Kovarian, two of those Silence gentlemen emerge from the shadows. River gasps. "What are those things?" she asks. "Your owners," Kovarian says. The moment River turns away from them, she forgets them. Today was the day River became Doctor Song. It's also the day she becomes the Impossible Astronaut. Two men in military uniform march into the room, sedate her and force her into that 1960s spacesuit we've been waiting to see again. The next time she opens her eyes, River is at the bottom of Lake Silencio. The creepy doll voices from "Night Terrors" sing: "Ticktock goes the clock till River kills the Doctor." So even though this "lovely old song" spells out exactly what happens, it somehow still comes as a surprise to most of the involved parties. Stay tuned for the final weecap of the season next week!
Tippi Blevins is a recapper traveling slowly forward in time. Email her at email@example.com, or find her on Twitter.