Doctor Who
Cold Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 6 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Next Year In Jerusalem

"This is the story of our planet, Earth. Of the day 1000 years past, when we came to share it with a race known as Humanity. It is the story of the Doctor who helped our races find common ground and the terrible losses he suffered. It is the story of our past, and must never be forgotten." This, from some kind of lofty future Elvenhame-type voice of a guy we'll meet in a bit, sounds great. What it means is a certain sort of framing procedure that makes all of this crap about to happen even more important. It's something RTD would do, but he would make it count: This just seems desperate. Not to mention the implied coda "...As long as no irate Jews or irrational bitches show up to ruin everything like usual."

Nasreen and the Doctor prowl the underground Silurian city, looking for Amy's warm-blooded heat anomalies; it's deserted because everybody's still asleep except the woman warriors that always cause such trouble. "Front door approach! Definitely, always the best way," the good Doctor says, right before the alarms start going off. "...Apart from the backdoor approach, that's also good. Sometimes better." That reminds me of a filthy Sarah Silverman joke I've always loved and will not be reproducing here. The soldiers come upon them after a bit of running around, and the Doctor throws up his hands, desperately trying to tell them he's cool and Nasreen's cool and everything's cool. Which would be fine, except he's gotten gasped and captured by the one segment of the one race with no redeeming characteristics whatsoever. Attend:

Green doctor-man approaching Amy with some slicing implements and tricorder-type machinery, noting that from her Rio-appropriate clothing, she seems more resistant to cold than Mo strapped in beside her. They shoot waves of science at Amy, killing her topside bacteria or whatever, so he can start dissecting, i.e. vivisecting. (Which we learned last week, also from being alive, is a shitty thing to do -- but won't stop the Doctor from tongue-kissing this doctor-lizard later, for reasons that still escape me.) An alarm reaches the lab, asking him to come identify the Doctor and Nasreen in scientific terms, but first Amy picks his pocket of a scientific device that will of course set her and Mo free.

"You never picked a lizard man's pocket?" she giggles at Mo, who is shocked at her Mary Sue powers as people often are before they realize she's just a walking mouth full of nothing cool. They take off down the corridors, Mo wondering if that thing was an alien, will they come back, et cetera. Amy has no idea, but she knows they need to find the Doctor and get some explanations. Down one hallway, they find Elliot in a freaky space tube, unconscious and staring, with wires and tubes and the like coming out of him. (Chilling, but especially after Torchwood.)

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