Doctor Who
Cold War

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hunt For Red Doctober

They make it safely to the ridge and hold steady at 700 meters. "It seems we owe you our lives," the Captain says. "Search them," says the crabby officer. For some reason, the Doctor has in his pockets a doll, a candy apple and a ball of twine. He exposits for Clara that they have found themselves in the 1980s, in the midst of the threat of nuclear oblivion. The Captain confiscates the sonic screwdriver. Before the Doctor can explain, the TARDIS dematerializes. Why? Because the story needed it to happen, that's why. In the confusion, the screwdriver winds up dropping into knee-deep water. Clara dives for it...

...and wakes up some time later wearing an officer's jacket over her cocktail dress. What an awkward scene change. Anyway, the Captain grabs the Doctor by his lapels and demands answers. The Doctor decides to forgo the usual explanations and just flat-out admits that he and Clara are time travelers. Naturally, this goes over about as well as a fart in a... well, in a submarine. The Captain threatens to shoot them both, but lets go of the Doctor and backs away. The Doctor hasn't yet seen what everyone else is seeing - that is, the large green armored creature standing behind him. Nor has he heard the sound of the creatures chittering and hissing over the sound of his own ramblings. Finally, he turns around and sees it.

"We were drilling for oil in the ice," says the Professor. "I thought I found a mammoth." The Doctor looks up at the creature with awe. "It's an Ice Warrior," he says. "A native Martian, and we go way back." The Doctor looked like John Pertwee the last time he met one. There's some bickering and bantering between the Doctor, the Captain and Clara, while the Ice Warrior just stands there. It's been rampaging all over the ship up to now, but politely waits for everyone to get done with the exposition. An officer pulls a gun on the Ice Warrior, who responds by charging a weapon in its arm. "No, wait, please," says the Doctor. "You're confused, disorientated, of course you are! You've been lying dormant in the ice for...?" The Professor helps out: "By my reckoning, 5,000 years." The Doctor gets everyone to calm down long enough to allow the Ice Warrior to introduce itself. "I am Grand Marshal Skaldak," it says. "Oh, no," the Doctor says, obviously recognizing the name. Just then, that crabby first officer sneaks up behind Skaldak with a cattle prod. Zzzzzap! Skaldak goes down. "You idiot!" says the Doctor, and explains that Officer Crabby has just electrocuted Grand Marshal Skaldak, Sovereign of the Tharseesian Caste, Vanquisher of the Phobos Heresy, the greatest hero of the Martian race, Inventor of the Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich, and the Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx! "So what do we do now?" asks the Captain. "Lock him up," says the Doctor.

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Doctor Who

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