Doctor Who
Cold War

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C | 2 USERS: A-
The Hunt For Red Doctober

While the Doctor jaunts off to check on something, Clara and the Professor take a breather. The Professor sits in an open hatchway, making me anticipate his imminent grabbing from behind by the green rubber gloves. Sadly, this does not happen. (I say "sadly" because the episode is in need of suspense; I rather like Professor New Wave.) Clara is thoughtful because seeing the dead bodies has made everything seem very real all of a sudden.

As the Doctor runs through the sub, he comes across Crabby's corpse. That was one hell of a massage. Skaldak skitters by him in a blur. The Doctor chases after him.

The Professor and Clara have a cute chat. He's decided he believes that she and the Doctor really are from the future. "Tell me what happens," he pleads. "I need to know..." Does he need to know how or if the Cold War ends? Does he need to know the ultimate fate of mankind? No! He wants to know if Ultravox are still together in the future. Clara giggles, thankful for the distraction. Alas, she's a little too distracted, and the green rubber gloves grab her head from above. The Professor shoots in the gloves' general direction. They let go of Clara and grab on to the Professor. "Please don't hurt him!" Clara begs. Skaldak is somehow on the ceiling, where steam from various burst pipes obscures all but his glowing red eyes and a hint of his scaly complexion. "You attacked me," Skaldak reminds them. "Martian law decrees that the people of this planet are forfeit!" He explains that he's going to launch a missile and end the Cold War. Nobody answered his distress call, so all his people must be dead. All he has left is revenge, he says. He's like one of those irritating people who send you a text and then get all huffy when you don't reply right away.

The Captain and a crewman join the scene, all het up to shoot Skaldak, but the Doctor intervenes. He says they're negotiating. "We need more jaw-jaw, not war-war," he says. Skaldak should kill them all just for that horrible line. Perhaps thinking along the same lines, he summons his cyborg suit. It comes stomping along, having broken free of its chains. Skaldak slithers into his suit mostly off screen so we don't have to see how silly it is. The Doctor explains Skaldak summoned it with "sonic tech," which for some reason the Doctor cannot use to also summon the TARDIS.

Skaldak storms off towards the bridge, vowing to kill all humankind. Crewmen shoot at him, but the bullets ricochet off his armor. Miraculously, nobody is then killed by these bouncing bullets. He extends tubules from his fingers into the ship's controls. The missile bays open at his command. The Doctor catches up to him and pleads for him to wait. "Where is in the honor in condemning billions of innocents to death?" He says humans are still primitive, like children. "Show them there is honor in mercy!" Skaldak scoffs and reaches for the launch button. The Doctor threatens to destroy the sub before Skaldak can launch a missile. "You would sacrifice yourself?" Skaldak asks. "In a heartbeat," the Doctor says. He challenges Skaldak to look him in the eyes, so Skaldak removes his helmet and reveals his iguana-like countenance. Clara points out that he showed compassion when he didn't kill the Professor, so why not show it now? She says children will die and reminds him of his daughter.

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