Doctor Who
Fear Her

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Yeah, Pencil Me In

Inside the house, dear Chloe is singing softly: "Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry merry king of the bush is he/ Laugh, kookaburra, laugh, kookaburra, gay your life must be." You may or may not know how important this particular song is to your recapper. Chloe watches the boys playing soccer, and then turns back to her desk and pulls out some paper and pencils. Chloe starts to draw.

Down below, Maeve's still trying to convince Tom's dad to take the boys inside. "They're not safe!" she says, crazily. "They're in the garden!" he replies, uncrazily. "That's what it likes," she says. "It likes it when they're playing. Get them in, I'm begging you..." The boys laugh, between themselves. Old lady.

Up in her bedroom, Chloe's still singing, drawing Dale and coloring him in with unnatural speed.

Outside, Tom urges Maeve along: "I've got my beady eyes on them," he says. I feel like he'll be trouble down the line. He grabs her by the arm as she protests. The moment their backs are turned, as Tom kicks the ball into the goal, as Tom's dad fusses with Maeve, as a thousand things happen on a thousand streets, Dale disappears completely. Maeve calls out in horror, but Tom's still confused. "Tom?" Maeve screams for the boy, but he's gone. Trish listens, just inside the front door, unhappy on the first floor but unable to go upstairs; like she knows what's going on. Outside, Mad Maeve screams, "What do you want with our children?"

Upstairs, Chloe hums to herself and finishes a drawing. Upon the last stroke, it comes to life: Dale's mouth opens in a silent scream, terrified, trapped in the drawing. Credits. This episode is funny because it's awesome-to-awful in the same way that last week was awful-to-awesome. If you did the math I bet it would work out exactly. To the fifth decimal at least. (Hilarious note is that I did, and it did. To the decimal! Is your recapper an asshole? Wouldn't surprise me!)

Credits; episode by Matthew Graham, who weirdly wrote for both Spooks and Life On Mars yet managed to make utter hash of Doctor Who. The TARDIS materializes between two gates, one reading DANGER KEEP OUT and the other reading NO PARKING IN FRONT OF THESE GATES. Heh. The Doctor opens the door and gets a faceful of gate, so he goes back inside so that the TARDIS can rematerialize the right way around. It's funny. They step out and Rose sees a poster for Manchester's own Shayne Ward's Greatest Hits poster on the fence: "So, near future, yeah?" (Shayne Ward is apparently from The X Factor, Simon Cowell's legally contentious copy of American Idol. Given the shelf life of most winners over here, it would need to be very near future indeed.) The Doctor nods, saying that he had a passing fancy: "Only it didn't pass, it stopped." Across the road, there's a banner announcing the Thirtieth Olympiad, to be held in London 2012, and Rose squeals: "Why didn't I think of this, that's great!" She puts her arm through the Doctor's, and he beams: "Only seems like yesterday a few naked Greek blokes were tossing a discus about, wrestling each other in the sand with crowds stood around... No, wait a minute, that was Club Med." He laughs and nudges Rose. "Just in time for the opening doodah -- ceremony -- tonight. I thought you'd like that. Last one they had in London was dynamite. Wembley, 1948. I loved it so much I went back and watched it all over again. Fella carrying the torch, lovely chap..." The Doctor tries to remember the guy's name, but Rose is distracted by a poster on a lamp post, advertising a missing child. The Doctor keeps talking to himself: "...And in those days, everybody had a tea party to go to. Did you ever have one of those little cakes with the crunchy ball bearings on top...?" He finally notices Rose's worry, even as he's still talking about the edible ball bearings. "What's taking them," he wonders, looking around the street. "Snatching children from a thoroughly ordinary street like this. Why's it so cold?" Rose notes that the kids have all disappeared in the last week, and wonders why a person would kidnap a bunch of kids. "What makes you think it's a person?" asks the Doctor. He and Rose watch a scared citizen scuttle out with her recycling and disappear back inside. "Whatever it is, it's got the whole street scared to death..." Rose looks around; the Doctor's already run off.

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