Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 1858 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Eyes Wide Shut

They set out through the forest, I guess looking for another way out, and Amy's at eight and still like, "But trees! On a spaceship?" Then the Doctor explains the plot of the movie Avatar, how the trees are "treeborgs" and have cheap-looking rope lights inside them "sucking in starlight, breathing out air," even though they'd be doing that anyway, which is the point of having a forest on a spaceship, so all this does is complicate and stupidify things more. "A forest in a bottle, on a space ship, in a maze. Have I impressed you yet, Amy Pond?" No, but be sure and keep asking.

Angel Bob calls him on the walkie, and he's rude some more, and there's not really a reason to discuss anything with the Doctor except to tell him what Amy is too stupid to tell him, i.e. how sometimes sand pours out of her eyeball, because the Angels are in her eyeball. Didn't we already know that? I guess once you've heard "There's something on your back" eighty-seven times, anything with the construction "There's blank in or on your blank" starts being super scary. Angel Bob blabbers some more, explaining that there's a source of power unrelated to the radiation and what have you, and he says the Angels are laughing because quote "...You haven't noticed yet. The Doctor in the TARDIS hasn't noticed!"

Suddenly in the side of the place they're hanging out, just outside the forest, the great Crack that has been in every episode -- "two parts of space and time that should never have touched" -- and then we run and we run and we run. There's a bunch of "We're not leaving without you!" and "YES YOU ARE!" and that kind of thing. He sonics the Crack and goes, "Good, and not so good. Oh, this isn't even a little bit good!" Surprise, the Crack is bad news. Then things get really annoying: The statues show up, and they start moving around. Onscreen. Which, then what is the point of the Weeping Angels? You've officially gotten rid of every single thing that makes them cool, at this point. They're just big dumb monsters. It's so mortifying.

So now the Angels have the Doctor by the collar, and he's explaining to them that the Crack is "pure time energy" and "the fire at the end of the universe," which I guess they can't feed on. Not sure what the whole point of the Doctor sonicking and studying and blowing open the Crack back in the first episode, since apparently this time it makes sense in a whole new way that we didn't get to know about until now but he should have. He takes off, leaving his jacket in their hands, and runs into the forest to join the other guys. They're like, "Dang!" Their faces are like that. "Aw, snap!"

Doctor Who

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