Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 9 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Eyes Wide Shut

"I will die in the knowledge that my courage did not desert me at the end. For that I thank God, and bless the path that takes you to safety," he says, and when the Doctor says he wishes he'd known him better, he goes, "I think, sir, you know me at my best." He is not ready to die, but he is content. And then he's dead.

The Doctor heads inside the Primary Flight Deck and is super mean to River Song, while out in the forest all the Clerics vanish one by one. Then she's alone. "There was a light and they walked into the light," she tells the Doctor on the walkies, instead of saying, "You know that big old Crack from when we met? It's here and it's eating priests." No, better to keep things vague. So now the Doctor feels bad about leaving her back there with the Crack, and he... Whew, this is dumb. Okay, she's got to use the walkie-talkie to find her way through the forest to him, without opening her eyes, through all the Angels.

The ones that kill you if you aren't looking at them? Yes, those ones.

Also, they're constantly moving around in this episode. Well, twice. On the other hand, the Doctor's trousers are really working for me this week. That jacket he's not wearing that he's usually wearing, it covers up a lot of really valuable real estate. I hate that damned jacket. So anyway, if the "Time Energy" catches up with Amy, she'll never have been born. "It will erase every moment of your existence!" You will never have lived at all." So... Kind of like the Angels, back when they were cool? Yeah, those ones. The Angels are now running away from the Crack, because they thought it was a good meal but the meal is actually them. So they are also coming toward the Doctor, like Amy. But for some reason, they are not moving so fast, so she's coming through this forest full of unmoving statuary that nobody is looking at. And while that makes no sense, at all, check out this shit: "Amy, this is important. The forest is full of Angels. You're going to have to walk like you can see."

I guess all those people the Angels killed were just lacking confidence. I mean, it's dumb enough to rewrite basic rules, but this is just going out of your way to rewrite the Angels, and also be ridiculous. So the Angels that you have to always be looking at or they will kill you, now you can be around them with your eyes completely closed, as long as you pretend that you can see. I don't even have anything funny to say about that. It is insulting. You are basically being called an idiot by this show. "HEY IDIOT," the show is saying, "THANKS FOR WATCHING THIS SHITTY EPISODE OF A SHOW."

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Doctor Who

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