Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 9 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Eyes Wide Shut

River Song teleports Amy into the room with them, having gotten the thing working, so that's the fifth problem in this episode alone that seemed like a really big deal for like five seconds and then got all fixed by an unknown mysterious solution we didn't know about. The Doctor threatens to kiss her, and she grins. "Ah well, maybe when you're older." Cheeky! Okay so now the problem is that the Angels are almost done draining the power for their luncheon, which they need because they're so busy running away from the Crack.

They would like the Doctor, if you please, to toss himself into the Crack so that everybody else will live, including them. They ask really politely, but still, clearly that is not going to happen. The Doctor tells River and Amy to hold on tight -- about sixty hilarious punnilicious times because they don't know what he means right away but once they do he's a genius! -- and then reverses the gravity so that the Crack is suddenly down, and all the Angels go tumbling in. Which would be awesome, except for the real John Irving feeling you're going for, we'd have to know more than two things about the ship, but all we know is the gravity and forest, and obviously it's going to be one or the other, and then it's totally obvious what he's going to do, because you only know these two facts.

Also, is this on purpose? In the first half, River tells the interesting tuxedo man to hold on tight and then she airlocks herself. I really do wish I could believe that this is not a coincidence, but the whole second half is so messy and distracted and silly and strung-together that I really think it is. I think he's just got this limited number of ideas in his head, or wrote them all in a week when he had these particular things going on, and it's all paralleling and matching up in strange incorrect ways, because what's a tic and what's a legit seed planted? I can tell you that, as much as I hate the ending of this episode, with the creepy hypersexualized trauma victim stuff, I have made my piece with that, as discussed previously. And there's a scope to the season that's only now coming into view, and I think it's brilliant if I have even half a clue as to where it's headed. But it's things like that which make me wonder, because maybe it's just dumb. Maybe it's just sound and fury and misogyny.

Bad Wolf Bay. Amy climbs out of the wreckage, once all of this is taken care of, with her eyes closed, which is worth a joke or two but are only really at her expense, so it's not even funny but just kind of, "Amy acts stupid so we can call her stupid, because that's funny." The Doctor explains, this is a little dodgy, that the Crack ate the Angels and thus the Angel in her eyeball never actually existed. But you know how this whole season apparently hinges on what Amy does and does not remember? How we keep going back to that every five minutes? She asks the very important question of why she can remember the various soldiers and things, and the Angels themselves, if they never existed. "You're a time traveler now, Amy. Changes the way you see the universe. Forever!" Oh, well then. Good thing we haven't been worrying at and over that whole deal like this entire time.

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Doctor Who

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