Much like the episode's miniaturized robot operators, the Doctor Who coverage has been shrunk from recap to weecap. If I skip over something vital or seem to forget important details, or rewrite events entirely, just pretend I'm imitating one of the show's writers. Here we go!
Amy and Rory are driving through a wheat field at breakneck speed. Tense music plays. Amy shouts instructions at Rory with great urgency. Turn right! Turn left! Loop the loop! Finally, she yells at him to stop and they find themselves in a circular clearing, at the middle of which is the TARDIS and the Doctor. He holds up an aged newspaper to show them the headline: "Leadworth's Crop Circle." The camera zooms up and shows the Doctor-shaped message they've carved into some poor farmer's crop. Amy wants to know if he's found Melody. He hugs her (with Rory's "permission" -- ugh) and reminds her that she knows who Melody grows up to be, so she knows he'll find her. About then, they all realize that someone is speeding through the field in a hot red Corvette and very symbolically crossing out the "Doctor" message. The Doctor and friends scream and scatter just as the Corvette skids to a stop beside the TARDIS.
A gorgeous young woman steps out, played by Nina Toussaint-White. She's got on leather boots and vest to match and her hair's all in tiny braids. She stands over the Doctor. "You said he was funny; you never said he was hot." The Doctor is a bit aghast that this little detail was left out. Rory and Amy call her "Mels" and worry she'll go to prison one day for stealing cars and what have you. She fondles the TARDIS and seems pretty turned on by the whole concept of time travel. "I'm their best mate," Mels says to the Doctor, explaining she's heard a lot about him. "Then why don't I know you?" asks the Doctor. "I danced with everyone at [Amy and Rory's] wedding!" "I don't do weddings," Mels says. And this show don't do continuity. Mels hears police sirens drawing near and pulls out a gun. She points it at the Doctor and hijacks herself a ride out of there, saying, "You've got a time machine, I've got a gun. What the hell? Let's kill Hitler."
But first, let's go visit the past, when little Amelia and little Mels were bestest buds. "Is he hot?" Mels asks as they play in Amelia's bedroom. "No, he's funny," says Amelia. She clearly thinks he's hot later. Maybe puberty hasn't hit yet. A very small boy comes in. It's Rory and he's moping because the girls haven't made much of an effort to find him in their game of hide-and-seek. Oddly, he looks a lot younger than the girls. Then there are some flashbacks to their school days when Mels blames the Doctor for the Titanic's sinking and Hitler's rise to power simply because he didn't intervene. Moving on to their teen years, Rory and Amy chastise Mels for stealing a bus. Mels changes the subject by trying to nudge Amy and Rory together in a romantic way, but Amy scoffs. She's not against the idea, mind you, but she thinks it's impossible because, as she says, Rory is gay. He's never paid any attention to a girl, she says. He gapes at her and looks like he's peeing himself before he finally flees the scene. Amy realizes all this time he's only had eyes for her. Luckily, by this point, he doesn't look half her age anymore.