There's a holy sound, a breeze that takes them both by surprise. The TARDIS materializes right in front of them, and the Doctor steps out, looking less than happy. "Someone wants a word with you," he tells Elton, and Rose steps out behind him, murder in her eyes, advancing dangerously: "You upset my mum." Taken aback, Elton stares at her, finally indicating the seven-foot green alien about to devour him, which the Doctor and Rose have completely ignored: "...Great big absorbing creature from outer space, and you're having a go at me?" Rose dismisses this: "No one upsets my mum." Victor says a nasty hallelujah: "At last, the greatest feast of all. The Doctor." The Doctor considers the beast carefully: "Interesting. A sort of...Absorbatrix? Absorba...clon? Absorbaloff?" Victor nods at the last. Rose asks the Doctor quietly whether she's wrong in noting that he's a bit Slitheen. The Doctor politely asks Victor if he's by any chance from Raxacorricofallapatorius, and Victor fairly spits, insulted: "No! Not the swine! I spit on them! I was born on their twin planet." And the twin planet of Raxacorricofallapatorius? "Clom." The Doctor gives a great O RLY face: "Clom." Yes: "And I'll return there victorious, whilst I possess your traveling machine!" He points at the TARDIS, and the Doctor nearly laughs in his face. Skeptically: "Well, that's never gonna happen." Victor swears that he knows better: even the Doctor should back down from Victor's information. "You'll surrender yourself to me, Doctor, or this one dies. You see, I've read about you, Doctor. I've studied you: so passionate, so sweet. You wouldn't let an innocent man die." Rose looks up at the Doctor, amused. He scratches the back of his neck. "'Sweet'? Maybe. 'Passionate,' I suppose. But don't ever mistake that for nice." The Doctor tells Victor to do whatever he likes, and then waits, indifferent to Elton's fate. Rose glances up at him again, wondering if she's on the same page. Elton stares up, up, up. Rose is a codfish. But for a sec: imagine that much love. If the loud, crashing, bright scary thing that was coming to get you was God all along. And He was only coming to take you home. Whether you were done playing or not.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: B+ | 1390 USERS: C+
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