Back at home, in the now: "Okay, first things first. My name's Elton. Er, not to be confused with --" Quick cutesy cut to footage of You Fucking Guessed It. "I left school, got a job. Transport Manager, Rated Logistics, modest little haulage company. Perfectly normal life, and then...it all went mad." What went mad? Elton shops in the high street near Henrik's, and gets attacked by Autons of the Nestene Consciousness. But he survives. Elton is standing beneath Big Ben as he gets chopped down to size by a pig in a poke. But survives. Elton sleeps in on Christmas, gets his window blown in by the arrival of the Sycorax. But survives because he does not have A+ blood. Elton doesn't fucking have A+ anything.

Oh, just as a BTW, this is kind of the "Boom Town" of this season, so the links to other recaps and shows and episodes are going to be insane. I've never understood why that bothers certain individuals so much, but there it is: this week's a linkapalooza. There are about fifty different games I've been running this season, as a counterbalance to last season's whole "surprised by glory" motif, in the hopes that when we're done you'll go back and read them again, because I think you'd be shocked how balls-out I've been about certain things. If I were the type to give homework, I'd say at the end of this season: "First the Tennyson, then all the recaps from the beginning," and I'd have a ruler and everything. But that's not me -- I just like this show, and I like you, and I like writing about the show, and I thought it would be fun to make the recaps re-readable as a thing. Like a novel or something. So there's that. There's no quiz. The quiz is not my problem, and it's one question, and Nine already gave the prompt, from beyond goodbye; the quiz is happening already and I'm terrified I'll fail my own self.