Doctor Who
Love & Monsters

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 8 USERS: C+
I ♥ Doctor Who

Oh, just as a BTW, this is kind of the "Boom Town" of this season, so the links to other recaps and shows and episodes are going to be insane. I've never understood why that bothers certain individuals so much, but there it is: this week's a linkapalooza. There are about fifty different games I've been running this season, as a counterbalance to last season's whole "surprised by glory" motif, in the hopes that when we're done you'll go back and read them again, because I think you'd be shocked how balls-out I've been about certain things. If I were the type to give homework, I'd say at the end of this season: "First the Tennyson, then all the recaps from the beginning," and I'd have a ruler and everything. But that's not me -- I just like this show, and I like you, and I like writing about the show, and I thought it would be fun to make the recaps re-readable as a thing. Like a novel or something. So there's that. There's no quiz. The quiz is not my problem, and it's one question, and Nine already gave the prompt, from beyond goodbye; the quiz is happening already and I'm terrified I'll fail my own self.

"And that's when it all started happening. That's how I met Ursula..." Cut to Ursula, squealing out "his name is the Doctor," from, like, two seconds from now. "That's how I met Victor Kennedy..." Cut to the odious and stupid Mr. Kennedy, about to slap Elton like I wish somebody would, yelling how stupid he is. "That's how I met Jackie Tyler..." Cut to Jackie, in the laundromat, looking fly: "Oh, you don't meet many Eltons!" "And that's how I finally met the Doctor...and realized the truth." Ugh. Get ready for some heavy-handed unearned insulting bullshit on that count as well. I hate this episode so much I keep forgetting all the parts I hate. Each one fascinates and holds my interest stronger than the last. When Elton reappears, he has his head rested on his arms and does his best impression of "dejected," but, since the only thing more cardboard than this character is his "secret," who can blame him for being unbelievable? Or anybody for giving anything less than one full-sized flying fuck? Elton sniffs and wipes his nose as he turns the camera back to face him, as though he had just been crying. Perhaps at the pain caused by the anvil just hurled directly at his head out of the wild blue yonder without any supporting story thread or reason for being there except a cheap shot in the directions of any heartstrings belonging to any mentally compromised audience members, and a half-assed connection to Jackie Tyler that's better served by every other metaphor that includes Jackie in this episode, which is all of them.

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Doctor Who




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