Doctor Who
Planet Of The Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: F | 5 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Charmless In Abaddon

So he sonics Christina's handcuffs, and possibly -- I don't know how you do things over there, but here the cop cars don't open from inside -- the cop car, and she runs off with some precious E.T. music playing, past the cops, past the TARDIS, past everybody, past the interchangeable bastards who are still fucking clapping about nothing whatsoever, and then into the bus, which she -- with Javert yelling outside -- takes to the sky, and stops by the TARDIS and says they could have been so good together, and the Doctor somewhat awesomely goes, "We were!" And as the interchangeables clap like retards one last time, she takes off in the bus as smugly as she arrived. So the Doctor gets in the TARDIS with some kind of smarmy smile on his face and it's finally, finally over. That was the stupidest goddamn thing. And not in that, "Oh, sorry it wasn't pretentious enough for you, Jacob" way either. It was actually stupid.

LATER THIS YEAR: Water, Mars, haggard people, haggard people turning into water. On Mars. The Waters of Mars. Followed on Arbor Day by The Air Up There, in which Jackson Lake's TARDIS balloon will make a reappearance and impregnate the Doctor's TARDIS, and then -- just in time for Kwanzaa -- the penultimate 2009 special Fire On Babylon, in which the Companions sharing the TARDIS will be Sinead O'Connor and a handful of cornflakes, whose company the Doctor will regretfully decline.

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Doctor Who

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