Doctor Who
Rose

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 15 USERS: A
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Outside, Rose is bitching all the way to the car, where Mickey has been replaced by a shiny piece of plastic in the shape of Mickey: "All right, he's a nutter! Off his head, complete online conspiracy freak. You win!" She sits without her powers of observation. Living plastic? Sure thing. Sonic screwdriver? Absolutely. Fathers and sons throughout history so similar as to be identical? You bet. Time-traveling police box? Okay, possibly. It definitely teleports. But...an alien? Absolutely not. That would just be crazy. Besides this lack of introspection, she's also unable to notice that her boyfriend is now from Lazytown. Off on the next thing, Rose suggests pizza for dinner. Mickey squawks and rumbles, "Pizzaaa! P-p-peeeeeeeza!" and then drives off down Clive's road, veering and wobbling back and forth.

At dinner, in a nice restaurant, Rose has apparently left the mystery behind, and is contemplating a job at the hospital canteen: "That's it then, dishing out chips? ...I could do A Levels..." It's almost like she has an ambition of some kind. That's over immediately: "I dunno. It's all Jimmy Stone's fault. I only left school because of him, and look where he ended up. What do you think?" I wonder if we'll ever hear more about that. It's interesting. I wonder about Jackie, and what Rose's father was like. Jackie's not all that old. The whole time, Rubber Mickey's staring at Rose, all shiny and creepy: "So, where did you meet this Doctor?" She begs his pardon for bringing up her life and future for a sec, but he continues: "Because I reckon it started back at the shop, am I right? Is he something to do with that?" She resists, he pushes. "I'm not going on about him, Mickey, really I'm not, because...I know it sounds daft, but I don't think he's safe. He's dangerous." Not an alien or anything, but unsafe and traveling in the company of haunted dummies. Mickey glitches out majorly, from a variety of angles. "But you can trust me, sweetheart/babe/sugar/darling/sugar," he blurts in a bunch of voices. Rose looks confused at this. "You can tell me anything. Tell me about the Doctor and what he's planning, and I can help you, Rose. Because that's all I really wanna do, sweetheart/babe/sugar/sweetheart." Rose is like, "Your damage would be?"

But before Mickey can stutter out something crazy, a waiter approaches with a bottle of champagne. Mickey ignores him and goes back to questioning Rose: "Where's the Doctor?" He grabs her hand, squelching all rubbery. The waiter, rebuffed by Mickey, holds the bottle out to Rose. "It's not ours," she says, distracted, having finally noticed that Mickey's being weird. "Mickey, what is it? What's wrong?" He gets really insistent about needing to know "how much" Rose knows about the Doctor and the situation, and the waiter once again busts into the conversation: "Doesn't anybody want this champagne?" Mickey, exasperated, finally looks up at the waiter -- who is, of course, the Doctor. Mickey figures it out almost immediately, and the Doctor starts to shake the bottle: "Don't mind me. I'm just toasting the happy couple. On the house!" He pops the cork, and it hits Mickey in the middle of his forehead. The rubber absorbs it with a silly boing sound, and Mickey fishes around in his mouth for a second with his tongue before he spits it out of his mouth. Rose finally figures out that he's been replaced or turned into a dummy. Or more properly, an Auton. "...Anyway," says Mickey, and his hands become giant mallets. He smashes the table, and Rose screams. The Doctor grabs the Auton by the head and, after a brief struggle, pulls it right off. Pop! The head says stuff meant to be threatening, causing some some patrons to squeal, but the Doctor grins wildly. The body keeps smashing things with its huge mallet fists, causing even more chaos. Rose pulls the fire alarm and starts yelling at everyone to get out. They all run, and Rose and the Doctor make for the back of the restaurant. Behind them, the body keeps bashing things in and smashing stuff. It's awesome.

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Doctor Who

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